Take your Bibles and turn with me to the Book of Matthew 28:20. This is part of the great commission but I really want to just focus on the very last part of that verse. As I preach this message, "Never Alone", I believe that God wants to touch people's hearts here today with this issue of loneliness. Matthew 28:20 at the very end of that verse, God gives a promise to his disciples, "And lo I am with you always even to the end of the age".
Father, thank you that your word is annointed. Lord, I thank you for your comfort in our lives. Lord Jesus, we thank you for your presence here this morning. Holy Spirit, we ask that we would decrease and that you would increase and Father that you would be glorified. I pray not only that you would annoint me which I need to speak your word, I pray that you would annoint our ears to hear and that we might receive, in your name, Amen.
The issue of loneliness touches many people's lives. In this month that we've been dealing with the issue of strongholds something struck me by surprise that the Lord said he wanted me to speak on this issue of loneliness. So many people suffer from this. You can be in a crowd and still feel alone. You could be married and still feel alone. It's a powerful thing that at some point or another many of us have been there. We have felt alone, we have felt it when no one is around us and at times have even felt like God has forsaken us. Aloneness doesn't just face the outcast, or those who are going through a divorce or have lost a spouse or who have children not following the Lord. We think sometimes it's just an issue of those who just don't have a whole lot going on in their life so they feel alone and not very successful. But the truth is aloneness affects familes, it affects those with great ambition and energy and everyone in between.
Someone once said that it's lonely at the top. Alot of people think that if I can just do this with my life and become this then I will feel like I've reached the pinnacle. As a matter of fact, many presidents of the United States who have reached the height of their profession say that it's really one of the loneliest things they ever did in all their life. Loneliness affects everybody. We often don't think of men as suffering from loneliness but someone once said that most men lead lives of quiet desperation. They go to their jobs, they do the things that they feel the Lord has called them to do but they still feel so isolated, carrying the weight of having to support a family and to meet the expectations of the job. Sometimes we think that loneliness just affects ladies but the truth is if we were to be honest, it affects everybody. How many know that to be true?
It's interesting, alot of songs have been written about loneliness. How many remember that Elvis song, "Are you lonesome tonight?". The world offers no relief from being lonely. People can sing songs about it, we can relate to it but the world offers no relief to it. Life can be depressingly lonely, overwhelmingly lonely and the truth is whether you are overwhelmed or depressed, one type of lonely is not worse than the other. Many times, as you walk through the stores, you can see the panic in people's eyes wondering if anyone cares about them.
I have learned how important it is as believers that even when we come to church, how wonderful it is to get that handshake or have that person pat you on the back or just smile at you. For one brief moment the life of Jesus reached out and touched you in the middle of what you were going through and you could feel some relief from the isolation that you felt. I believe that loneliness is one of the things that the enemy has tried to instill in many lives but Jesus came to give us freedom from that aloneness.
Loneliness is a stronghold that isolates. For many in this room it's become a prison that you think only you understand and no one else can see into it. You feel like you're locked in even when you're with other people. I believe the Lord is speaking to you today. Christians, If you're not one that's suffering from aloneness, one of the greatest ministries we can give other Christians is to help people know that they're not alone anymore. To be that encouragement into each life, to realize that each time we come in contact with people, the encouragement and the freedom that we can bring.
The truth is that loneliness manifests as a deep inner ache inside, a cry and a craving for affection, a feeling of emptiness and sometimes as uselessness and purposelessness. Even men and women who have reached the height of their profession, who are very successful, have come to the point where they ask, "Is this all there is and is this all I get"? Loneliness is meant to leave us disconnected and makes people feel isolated even from the family of God.
Today, I believe there's two things, number one is that those who are suffering alone today will know that you're not alone anymore. Number two, I believe that it will help us to realize as Christians to challenge that aloneness and help people to know that God cares.
The first thing that we must understand is that it's not God's will for us to be alone. Some of us have gotten to that place and there have been times in my own life where I came to that place of feeling so alone. I've got a great wife, I've got 3 wonderful children, I have a wonderful church that cares but even people who have all that feel like they're alone at times.
As a matter of fact, one of the first things that God took care of in Creation was making sure than man wasn't alone. Genesis 2:18 says, "And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him". I want to just speak this to all the men who would walk around thinking, "I'm a man and I don't need anybody, I can make it alone". Listen, even God understood that on the day of creation, after he made us guys, that it wasn't good for us to be alone. The truth is every woman in here knows that if your husband didn't have you he would be a mess. Go ahead and give the Lord praise because it's true. All you men who think you can make it, God looked at you and said, "He's got to have somebody" so he made woman and he said it was good and it is. He made sure that men and women would never be alone again.
At the very beginning he made a way for us not to be lonely and he'll do the same for us today. Whether you're going through an empty part of your marriage, whether you've been through a divorce, whether you're going through a time where you seem isolated on the job or from friends and life is so busy that you can't connect, the Lord will make sure that you're not alone. But we must grasp the idea that it is not his will for us to be alone. Like everything else in the word of God he has given us promises for our life, we just need to grab hold of it so we understand that it is ours to possess. His comfort, his healing, his grace, even in the midst of lonely times, and doing this will begin to help us accept the other means by which God uses to ensure that we're not alone.
What I want you to know is that Jesus knows what it was like to be alone. We look at everything else in the crucifixion and we say God can understand pain, betrayal and physical sickness because he took it all on the cross but I think we forget that Jesus understood loneliness. As a matter of fact before he went to the cross he was in the garden and going through the most intense time of his life and his own friends kept falling asleep. How many of you have ever had friends that you needed to call and you dialed the phone but you couldn't get through. Jesus was on the cross and when he was dying for you and me with his arms outstretched, nails in his hands and in his feet, the crown of thorns on his head, there was that point when even God forsook him.
In Matthew 27:46 it says, "At the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice saying, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" which is translated "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Jesus knew even in the midst of doing good, even in the midst of changing the course of the entire world, what it was like to be forsaken. You need to preach that into people's lives, "Jesus knows". The truth is there have been times I've gone to prayer and said, "God, you don't even know". God says, "Yes I do". He's never condescending about it, he's just very matter of fact. Because he went through that, he is able to minister into our lives in such a way that the comfort becomes real and it's not empty.
Jesus knows what it's like to be isolated even by the ones he loves and by those who came to help. He came to break the grip of Satan's power over our lives. One of the ways that we break the grip of loneliness is to fully embrace God's promise that we find in Hebrews 13:5 that says, "For he himself has said "I will never leave you nor forsake you". God has never gone anywhere. The thing that I have found most comforting in my life is that when I go through life's most difficult moments I can know that Jesus is there. As a matter of fact when I'm saying, "Lord, I don't know if I can even sense that you're there" and all I have to do is speak that, just like If I'm with my wife and we're going through a hard time. When I was going through surgery my wife came in and she held my hand and although I wasn't real scared it was still nice to have that comfort. I found when I'm going through those times and I'm just not feeling his presence, then I felt him come and touch, "I promise I've never left you or forsaken you".
What the Lord is saying to you, "I am right here, I haven't gone away. I know exactly what you're going through". Some of you have been unfaithful to God and you serve the Lord but God is still saying to you, "I haven't gone anywhere, I am still right here". Some of you have been faithful to the Lord and you're just wondering why you're feeling these feelings of aloneness. God is saying, "You have been faithful, I care for you, I love you, I am not going anywhere. I promise I will never leave you or forsake you". This is just not a spiritual cliche' that we use to console each other, it is the great comfort that God is truly with us and that we are never alone. That is one of the greatest promises we will ever have from the word of God.
In Psalms 139:7-12 it says, "David said, where can I go from your spirit or where can I flee from your presence? If I ascend into heaven you are there, if I may make my bed in hell, behold you are there. If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, your right hand shall hold me. If I say surely the darkness shall fall on me, even the night shall be light about me. Indeed the darkness shall not hide from you but the night shines as the day. The darkness and the light are both alike to you".
Sometimes we use this verse as a "Gotcha" for those who are running from God. Where can I go from God? Listen, you can't ever get away, God is always there. The truth is that no matter what happens to us in our life, this is a promise for the child of God, He's there. Jonah, when he was running from God in the depths of the ocean, he said "I felt the spirit of the Lord". I remember hearing the testimony of one of the astronauts, I forget his name but he was saved. He said, "When I got into space I began to pray , I had gotten alone for just a little while and I knew that God was still with me". For him it became a marvelous revelation that God would always be with him and I believe this is revelation comfort for us.
What a promise, there's not a dark time that you can go through where the Lord won't be there for you. There is no place too deep to be in, no situation where you won't know his presence If you'll just ask. There is nothing so bad, no failure so devastating, no trial so taxing, where God isn't there. Where can I go? Nowhere. Aren't you thankful that Jesus dwells in here through you?
My mentor, Rick Cardell, grew up serving the Lord. One day he found himself having to go to Vietnam and he decided he was one of those men who didn't want to fight in the war. How many know that you can run but the law will find you? The law found him. He found himself in a jail cell, AWOL from his army group because he never showed up for duty. In that jail cell he began to cry out to God and the Lord said to him, "Rick, I've been trying to get a hold of you for a long time but listen, you're in deep, but I'm still here with you". In that jail cell he was gloriously saved and then he began to do his duty. The truth was that God gloriously touched his life even when he was running.
Isaiah 43:1-2 says, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire you shall not be burned nor shall the flames scorch you". God says, "When it's hot I'm going to be with you. If Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego can get thrown into a furnace and they came out not even smelling like smoke, how many know when you're going through the trials of life, when God is with you, you may not even be handling it real gracefully but you're going to still come out of it because God is with you. In the fire there was a fourth man that was there with Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego and the truth is in your trials, in my trials there is a fourth man that is right there in the midst of the heat. As a matter of fact, he's taken most of the heat for us and he said, "When you come out you won't be burned".
I want to ask you this, Christian, have you ever been going through a situation where even someone is trying to set you up, you're being betrayed? You've gone through the hurt, it's not your fault and God said, "Listen, I'm going to walk through this with you. You may feel alone, even your best friends may be turning on you but I'm right here, I haven't gone anywhere". He assures us we won't be burned. I have found that when I go through those things, God has never let me down once, not once.
Satan uses loneliness as a tool to isolate and confuse.
One of the cruel facts of loneliness is how it increases fear. Have you ever noticed that when you're alone everything begins to scare you? A couple weeks ago we discovered those beaches over on Jupiter Island where they have all the rocks and we started snorkeling, that's fun. I went out there by myself with my boys a couple times and I don't usually get scared but when you've got a 3 foot barracuda that shows up you start wondering why you're in the water. Ron started coming with me, he dives and snorkels all the time and there were a couple times that I went out without Ron that I was kind of scared. Everyone should have a diving buddy, it's good not to be alone. We got out there and he's diving down looking under rocks for sharks. I used to be scared but Ron was there so I was diving down looking for sharks too, I wasn't alone anymore. He had one of my boys and I had one of my boys, I figured the shark couldn't get all 4 of us at once. We had fun. You will do things when you're not alone that you wouldn't do on your own.
I remember the first time God asked me to lay hands on a girl who couldn't hear, she was deaf, and God said he was going to heal her. So Lord, "How do I know you're going to do this"? He said, "Because I'm with you". Today she can hear. Something happens when you'll step out and it wasn't me who did it, it was Christ who did it. All I needed to do was be faithful. Christian, the things that God will use you to do because you're not alone.
Satan uses that aloneness to confuse and disorient but the truth is that when you've got somebody with you even in the dark places, when you've got a friend the panic goes, the courage increases. As a matter of fact, you start to enjoy the adventure because you're not alone anymore. I have begun to enjoy so many adventures with the Lord as soon as I received the promise that I'm not alone.
Psalm 23:4 says, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me". I won't fear any evil even in the valley of the shadow of death. I was with Ron, we ran up on a 3 foot barracuda, he was with me, I wasn't scared anymore. Listen, Jesus was with me, I shouldn't have been scared in the first place. I love the verse because it says no fear and what Satan wants to do is get you alone, desperate and fearful and when we are alone we become easy prey. I want to encourage you, Christian, refuse to allow the enemy to get you alone. Realize that it is God's will for you not only to have a friend in God but to have a circle of friends.
I remember when we were growing up that song that I always thought was so sappy, "Friends are friends forever" by Michael W. Smith. It's true though, it's a good song. I like that song from Toy Story, "You've got a friend in me". Not only do you have a friend in Jesus but God wants you to have friends.
When David was going through one of the hardest times in his life, God gave him a friend named Jonathan and their hearts became like one. I want to encourage you, have you noticed that when you're lonely, sometimes you get so used to being alone that you don't even want your friends to be around anymore? When the phone rings you check call waiting and you decide whether you're going to talk or not. Then you turn on the loneliest movie you can find and all of a sudden you wonder why you're a mess.
Listen, you weren't meant to be alone, everyone should have friends.
Men, I want you to listen to me, one of the things that I'm praying for here at Harvest Community Church because I've begun to notice this, men need friends. Ladies need friends too. Most of us do a lot of stuff by ourself and in passing we'll see each other but the truth is many of the guys are hurting so bad. Not only is God raising up the Men's Ministry but I believe there's more that God is going to do. There's a lot of good things going on with the women, "Priceless Hearts" and the women's ministry. Men, how many will begin to pray that God will build a great circle of fellowship among us in this church? The truth is there are so many lone rangers walking around and hurt.
I want you to hear me, if you're alone refuse to isolate yourself. If you don't have friends, God will give you friends. I have found when I have moved from city to city and place to place, all I've had to say is "Lord, would you send me just one? Someone I can relate to, a guy that I can get out with, someone that will be a buddy, not just another religious thing, another pastor where we can go out and talk shop, but a friend". We can go out and ride motorcycles and be men and when our wives aren't looking take our helmets off. Proverbs 18:24 says this, "A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother".
Some of you in this room are thinking you don't have any friends. There is responsibility on your part. He who wants friends must himself be friendly.
That means, ladies, if another lady asks you out, say yes and if you can't do it, find another time. If you're always looking for that perfect person that's never going to annoy you, you're never going to find them. The truth is you annoy yourself half the time, why do you expect other people to be any different? Be a friend. You reap what you sow. Friends not only offer good company, they offer great counsel, they give a listening ear and when you're in the battles of life friends help you to be strong.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him and a threefold cord is not quickly broken". In my life I've got a couple of good friends, they work at Real Life Children's Ranch. They have seen my good, my bad and my ugly, they've seen it all and I've seen their's and we still like each other most of the time. When we go through the battles of life we get together. When I'm hurting, It's amazing how God will speak to them and they'll call. When they're hurting it's amazing how the Lord will use me to call. We're not ashamed, we?ll pray and not only on the phone, we'll pray together if we're out somewhere. The enemy never has the victory in our lives because not only do we have our wives and our personal friends but we have friends together. Everyone needs to have a circle of friends and I love how that is part of God's will. As a matter of fact he wants us to be strong because not only do we yoke together with God who's yoke is easy and burden is light but we have friends to help each other and lighten the load.
One of the greatest verses in the Bible that I love, Psalm 68:6 says, "God sets the solitary in families and he brings out those who are bound in prosperity". Do you realize this church isn't just a body of people who gather together in agreement over the word but we're the family of God? These are your brothers and sisters in the Lord. God's not worried about denominations and things like that, he's worried about the salvation of the heart. This is your family and I think we have one of the coolest families in the world. God takes the solitary and he puts them in families.
I want you to hear me and we need to agree about this as a church, how many believe that there should never be one person that is ever alone in this church? We need to give each other permission for this, not only should you feel free to call the pastor, and I will be there when you call. If you get the voicemail leave a mesage because I don't read minds, I can't call you if you don't leave a message. The truth is you can come to anyone in this place, at least we should be able to, to pray and have those conversations to strengthen each other. It's amazing to me how God will take people and bring them together.
In my family I have watched as my brothers and sisters who were put in orphanages and God took those solitary lives and they've become part of my family. We're an interesting looking family too, it's not a normal looking family. I have a Korean brother and sister,a black sister, a bi-racial sister and when I tell people that this is my family, they look at me and say your momma was all mixed up. I say "She was, she adopted everyone of them, it was great. After she had me, she was done, she figured she could do better I guess". If you'll look around here at the uniqueness of how God put us together. He takes the solitary and puts them in families. I think that's one of the most beautiful things that God could ever do.
Listen, realize that God will put you with people like yourself, sometimes those who are going through things. I want to close with this idea, David, when he was running and going through his hard time wound up in a cave, it was a big cave. When David was in that cave going through his hard time of life, God began to bring other people to him who were going through their hard times. He brought people who were in debt to him, people who were outcasts to him, people who were just not loved by society to him, and those are the people who became his closest friends. As a matter of fact they wound up becoming the great army that began to receive the promises of God for that nation, people just like himself but he started out alone.
Sometimes when God begins to send us certain friends we start worrying about different things like they're a little bit weird. The thing is other people thought you were kind of weird too and that's ok because God begins to do mighty things. David didn't feel alone and God began to build a great work and God will do the same for you and me. I believe that there is great healing that God wants to do. So I want to encourage you as we begin to leave this place today, refuse to isolate yourself. Draw close to God because he's the best friend that you will ever have.
Listen, dare to be vulnerable again. One of the hardest things for those who have been hurt, the reason why they stay lonely for so long, is because they're afraid that if they open up they're going to get hurt. Jesus will never hurt you. Be vulnerable to other people, here's a promise that I'm going to give you, if you will be vulnerable to others not only will you receive a wonderful life but there will be times when you will be hurt again and that's ok because Jesus heals. The option is to be alone forever and that's not a good one. So If you're lonely today, if you're lonesome tonight, Jesus wants to take your loneliness and heal it and give you peace.
