The thing that I believe makes the difference as we look around the world and ask why is revival breaking out in other places, why are people being saved by the hundreds of thousands? It's because people are serious about what God is doing in those places. They will get there and pray long before the services start. How many believe that what takes place in this room has eternal consequences? Then we go out from this place and begin to reach our city. So I want to challenge you, try to be here about 9:50 on Sunday mornings. Come in and pray, you can talk and enjoy each other but seek the face of God. I want to tell you that if we will do that, we will see differences. When you come expecting and want to see God work, things will happen. I believe that we're expecting those type of things here in Jupiter.
Let's get into the word. Take your Bibles and turn with me to the book of Proverbs 24:3. I want to talk with you this morning about building a healthy family. At the end of this message we're going to begin to pray for families.
How many know that building a family in this day and age has gotten harder than it ever has been? But I want to encourage you that when you serve Jesus you can have a good, healthy and solid family. Proverbs 24:3 says, " Through wisdom a house is built and by understanding it is established". How many want children that not only will serve the Lord when they're kids but are going to serve the Lord as adults? How many want a family that's going to stand not only today but throughout your generations? Listen, I want to tell you that the word of God gives us the tools to help us be able to do that.
Lord, we come to you again, we thank you for your word. It's already anointed. Lord, anoint us to hear and to receive. May we decrease and may you increase, in Jesus name, amen.
Bob was in his usual place in the morning, sitting at the table and reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of common knowledge and his fairly low IQ. He turned to his wife, Marlene, and with a look of question on his face said "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives". And Marlene replied, "Why thank you, dear".
Here's another one, there were three guys talking in the restaurant. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they had over their wives while the third guy remained quiet. After awhile, one of them asked the third guy asked, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" "I'll tell you, just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees". The first two guys were amazed and said, "Wow, what happened then? The third guy took a healthy swallow of his coke and sighed, She said, "Get out from under the bed and fight like a man". I believe those two men need to be here this morning to hear this message, "Building a healthy family".
Creation took a creator. The same God that made the planets, the stars, the atom, the neutrons, everything in the universe, who in the midst of all creation stopped and created the family. The same God who made everything that we see in this world was the same God who in his great wisdom at the very beginning of everything made a family. A healthy family is not an accident, it takes intelligent design. I believe that when God put man and woman in the garden and said, "Be fruitful and multiply"is the same God who very meticulously sculpted everything that's around us. A great family doesn't just happen by accident. It is formed as each of us obey the word of God. I said this last week and I want to say it again, only an evolutionist believes that created things happen by chance.
I do not believe that you and I were just an accident, that just happened to form somehow and randomly we were created. How many know that everything that we see is far too complex than that? How many found out real quick after you got married that your family is way more complex than you ever thought it would be?
A good marriage, healthy and godly children, are done by intelligent design. Proverbs 24:3 says, "Through wisdom a house is built and by understanding it is established". So when we talk about building a healthy family, sometimes we think we're just going to get married and all of a sudden our kids are going to grow up and be perfect and serve the Lord and be passionate for God and never get out of line. We think our marriage is always going to be really good and nothing bad is ever going to happen. Even when the trials come we're just going to hold hands, go to the beach and just pretend that everything is great. How many have found out that it just doesn't work that way?
Marriage takes work. Just as sure as it takes work to build a house, having a good family takes work. There are all kinds of tools that you can use. As a matter of fact you're looking at my tools, I have a lot of them but the truth is I really don't know how to use many of them. My dad gave me most of the ones he doesn't use and my wife teaches me how to use the ones I have no idea how to use. She's a good lady. But the tools that I do know how to use are found in the word of God. That's why I'm preaching and not building.
This is one of the keys that I want you to understand about building a healthy family, it takes more than love to build a family. Listen, the Bible says that love is important. Love is the key to any marriage or relationship. The Bible tells us that love never fails.
I know this might sound radical because I know that when we get married and the way we watch it on tv that if we just have enough love everything will be ok. The truth is that the world looks at love as romance instead of a choice. The Bible tells us what love is, love is something we do. Romance comes out of relationship when two people get together and decide that not only do they like each other but they really want to spend quality time and get married and have a family. Romance is good but in a marriage and in any family romance can come and go in ebbs and flows. Sometimes you have high tide and sometimes you have low tide. Some of you are in high tide today and are going to go out holding the hand of your spouse and go out to eat and it's just going to be awesome. Some of you are at low tide and you really don't even want to be in the same car together. Some of you don't even like your children right now. Some of you are looking forward to summer vacation and others are thinking, "Dear God, I have to have them all day". That's why they make the outdoors, amen.
The first part of wisdom is understanding that we can't build a family on our own, that we need the Lord. He gives us the help and the tools to build a family. Again, I want to say it, "Through wisdom and understanding a house is built and established". Psalms 127:1 says, "Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it". How many have found that you can't just do this family thing all on your own? The more I see what's going on in this world I am so thankful for the help of Jesus. I've run into things when it comes to my children or my marriage that the more I think I know, the less I really know. The truth is that Jesus is the greatest architect in all the world and he's given us the tools that he'll build with us, you're not doing it on your own.
I've helped to build some homes in my time, as scary as that is, but as long as you tell me what that tool does and how to use it then I think I might be able to do something with it. Jesus is just like that, he'll be the superintendent and he'll stand there with you. "Lord , I need to know what to do right now and I need to know how to do it" and he'll come right along side you and will teach you not only how to use the tool of his word and the things that are there but pretty soon you'll be able to use it skillfully on your own. How many know that not one of us learns how to do things on our own but we're taught it and do it well when we learn from somebody else. The Lord is there to help us, he helps us to build.
A healthy family is the result of God's direction and wise actions and decisions on the part of parents and on the part of spouses towards each other. The idea behind wisdom and understanding is good sense. How many believe it takes some good sense to have a family today? Wisdom gives you good sense. The more we look around we say common sense is dead. How many have found that to be true? But we have a God who will give us good sense.
The idea behind wisdom is skill and discretion and part of that idea is also wit. You can't have a good and skillful family really without a little bit of humor going on. The truth is the more you get to know your family, the more you're going to laugh. The Bible says that through that wisdom a house is established. The word establish means that it is stable. We live in unstable times but as believers we have the promise that if we will put our homes in the hand of God and we will use the wisdom of God in the midst of unstable times then we can have a stable sanctuary, a place called home. We can have stable kids, a stable marriage and the Bible says that at such a point it will be established.
Listen, if the Lord tarries, I want there to be generations of Nemitz' that are stable and secure. I want my kids to be stable and secure in the Lord. I want my kids to be living for Jesus whether God grants me a long life or a short life. My father died at 47 years old but he gave his life to the Lord and here I am today, a testimony of his faithfulness, giving his life to Jesus, a testimony to a Mom and Dad that I'm living right. I've got children, they have grandchildren that are living for Jesus and beginning to get older. Listen, I believe that heritage will continue in our home, that's the hope that we have. If we will do what the word of God says then we will have generations stable in the Lord, serving God and faithful to Him, living lives that are not only productive and successful but lives that make a difference for the kingdom. How many of you are thankful for the promises of the word?
I want to say this, healthy families prepare their children for life. Some of you in this room have kids that are small, some of you have teenagers, some of you have kids that are adults. The older I get, the more I learn that no matter how old you are or how old your children are you really never stop parenting them. They just move out and get a family of their own but they're still calling and still looking for help. Listen, I'm not ashamed to tell you, I still call Mom and Dad. There are times I need their help and there is no one else who will listen like they do. There are many counselors I could go to but I'm so thankful I can get my Dad on the phone and say, "Dad, can you help me?", "Mom, can you pray with me, something is going on that I have to face, can we seek God together?" No one can pray like family.
As parents we either accelerate or stifle our children's giftedness. I have spent much of my time as a pastor and in ministry helping children and families. I've spent many times counseling adults and helping children through some incredible things. I have learned this, that children will spend a lifetime either benefiting from or recovering from the influence of their parents. As parents we spend our children's childhood pouring into their lives and positioning them to be in the right direction.
There is a promise that God gives us in the word. Some of you are getting ready to have kids and some of you have children right now that are away from God. I want you to hear this promise from the Lord. We claim it in the church and we hear it time and time again but I want to tell you that I have learned to depend on this verse because I believe that God is faithful. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it". How many of you are thankful for one of the greatest promises in all the word of God?
What we do today as parents determines who our children will be tomorrow. I don't care if your children are adults or if they're still in the nursery. What you do today determines who they will be tomorrow. Mom and Dad, I want to tell you, if your kids are still small and you have them at home, you have the wonderful opportunity to mold them and shape them in the ways of God. One of the greatest trusts that God has ever given us is the privilege of being able to lead our children to Jesus and help them to serve the Lord. How wonderful it is when you see Godly kids at school just bowing their heads at lunch to thank God for the food or when a kid is going through an awful thing at home because their parents are in turmoil and there is another child that will grab their hand and say, "Listen, let me tell you about the help of God" and then pray for them.
God helps us to build. How many know sometimes as a parent you're going to sweat? Sometimes it's going to get a little hot but I want to tell you that if you will be faithful. Parent, if you've got grown children, you have the privilege of living that life of Jesus before them even now when they are adults and they will look to you for that example. Even if they're away from God right now and you've poured into their life, they always know where to go when they are hurting or in trouble. Where is that? Mom and Dad. That doesn't happen by accident.
First of all, to build a healthy family we are to point our children in the right direction and the first place that we point them is towards the Lord. The thing that I love as a parent is that the first place I can always take them is to Jesus. Mom and Dad, you have more influence on your kids than you think you do. I am not just speaking to parents of small children this morning, I'm speaking to grandparents today, I'm speaking to those who already had your kids and now you're helping your kids get their kids through. The greatest thing you can ever do is help point them to Jesus.
Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath but bring them up in the training, admonition and instruction of the Lord". So many Dad's will have no problem taking a football and teaching their kids how to throw. I love football, somebody just bought me a Steelers watch and I love that thing. I've enjoyed teaching my kids how to play. My kids have been out building a fort, thank God for neighbors who know how to use tools. So many times we'll have no problem teaching them those things but the greatest thing we could ever do is teach them about the Lord.
Secondly, a thing that parents do whether children are young or old is we are to help them nurture and develop their strengths and weaknesses. Each of our children are uniquely created by God and we're to help mold them in two ways: 1) In the Image of God and 2) In their own unique fit through life. Each of our children are different and we have the wonderful joy and privilege of helping them become all that they can be. The truth is this, I've found throughout my life that many times not only do those who have young kids have the privilege to help point them but I have watched Mom's and Dad's help children in their 30's and 40's. I don't believe that you have to go through a midlife crisis at 30 or 40. Good families that have been built can still help point their kids so that they understand what they're doing and are not wandering aimlessly.
God describes our kids like arrows. Turn with me in your Bibles to Psalm 127:3-5, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them". God tells us that we're like warriors and that our kids are like arrows. Trained warriors know what they're doing. They know what they have in their hands and they realize the value of what they carry. Children are like an arrow in the hand of a warrior. Those who are unskilled with a bow and arrow can aim at a target and miss it every time. Children, when they come out are straight and it's our job to keep them straight. If you aim at nothing you'll hit it every time but if you will aim at something with your kids and point them in the right direction, point them towards the Lord, help develop those unique things in them.
We have the wonderful privilege of starting them out. Some parents say, "My kids have to just find their way". All those who believe that, I want to take you on a helicopter, drop you off in the middle of Yellowstone National Forest without a canteen, nothing to cook with, without a knife, maybe with a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and say "Good luck, find your way out, fella". How many know we live in a world with a lot of different ideas and direction? As parents we have the privilege of getting our kids and say, "Listen, you've been born into a world that is confusing, you've been born into a world that is full of sin, you've been born into a world that is more concerned about itself than other people. You have been born into a world that would rather get things their own way than to serve the Lord". But listen, we take that child and we mold them and aim them in the right direction. You put enough pressure on them to get them to the target but not so much pressure that they break, enough pressure that they will fly straight and end up in a good destination.
Parents, you are a warrior. Listen, I don't believe the Bible said that by mistake because we are in the battle for our children's lives like never before. There are a lot of things that I'll do for my kids because I know that if I don't take care of them no one else will. Parent, I want to tell you, you are at war but we serve the King of Kings, the Lord of Lord's and if we will serve the Lord and aim our children in the right direction they will hit the target and when they are old they will not depart from it.
Listen, how many know families have detour's? Some kids decide they want to fly on their own and they've got it all together and know what they're doing. I want to tell you young kids and teenagers right now, you may think that you know it all and I want to encourage you, you don't. It's ok not to know it all, you don't have to. If you will listen to what your family who is serving God has to say, you will go far and you'll hit the target.
We prepare our children for life by helping them to grow. I want to say this, maturity is important and there are four areas that our kids need to become mature in.
The Bible says in Luke 2:52, "Jesus increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man". How many look at our world today and see a great immaturity in our children? Parents, adults, it is our responsibility to help those children to grow and mature because if we don't help them to do it, they will not do it on their own. They can't, it was never expected of them to.
The first thing we need to help our children grow in is wisdom. This is mental growth, we teach them to think. Thinking is more than sitting in front of a video game or a television set. They call it a boob tube for a good reason if you sit in front of it for a long time. We're to help our children make wise decisions, to encourage them with a good education, to make sure that the mind that they have works.
The second thing that we're to help them to grow in is stature. Parents, we need to help our children to grow physically, to help them to navigate through life all the way from pimples and voice changes until the day they get married and become a husband or wife. We need to help them through the development of chest hair to good hygiene and help them learn to take care of themselves. Ladies, you need to help your daughters through the blossom of youth. It's your job, parents. It's not the school's job, it's not society's job, it is the job of the parent to help our children to mature.
I was shocked to find even in the next couple of weeks as they're finishing up school, they have these new classes throughout the state of Florida that will teach our kids about sex education and how to grow in certain ways. They should be taught at home by Mom and Dad what is right and what is wrong. They said that out of all the classes only about 10 kids per school opt out of those classes. I saw one lady on the news saying, "This is awesome, I'm so for it that I don't have to have that talk with my child".
Listen, there are too many small tall people and we need to help our children to learn to grow in stature. This idea of stature also means character growth and there are alot of characters. How many know it's ok for your kid to have a unique personality? All of my kids are different but I want them to be men and women of God that walk true and fair.
The other thing that they are to grow in is favor with God and this deals with their spiritual maturity. As parents our kids need to see us pray around the home. They need to know that word of God. That Bible needs to be more than something that sits in the middle of your coffee table or just something that you pick up only once in awhile as you go out the door to church. Kids that see their parents read the word will read the word themselves. That's how they know it. Kids that see their parents pray, even if it's just the standard prayer that you pray everyday at the dinner table, then they will learn how to pray. Take the time to seek the face of God and thank him.
Listen, if you've got kids that are selfish or can't ever get enough and they want more from you, start praying at the dinner table and thanking God for everything that's there whether you're having Beenie Weenies or a ribeye steak. How many know it will teach them to be thankful for the things of God?
Lastly, how we help them to grow is in favor with man and this is social growth, how to treat others, how to respect others around them and how to have compassion on those that are less fortunate. These are all tools that God gives us to help the kids to become better. We teach them how to resist the pressure of the crowd. Mom and Dad or Grandma and Grandpa, I want to speak to you, sometimes we think it's just our little kids that suffer from peer pressure, but how many know your adult children are pressured all the time? The pressure to succeed and do better, the pressure to have that high paying job, the pressure to have a nicer house or drive a better car. Mom and Dad, we still keep helping them have perspective all the way through life if they're getting off track and that starts with us. What a marvelous thing it is. What a glorious privilege we have to help them through life.
There are three things we learn from our families. Number one is how to have good relationships, how to get along with other people and how to treat other people whether they're doing really well or whether they're not doing really well. Listen, if you're judgemental against other people that you see, your children will be the exact same way. But if you'll open the door, if you'll care for those that are in need, if you'll love those that are around you, if you'll quit cursing out the person who cut you off in the Publix parking lot then your kids will pick up on what you're doing.
Let me ask you, what describes your child? Which one of these four responses? "Everyone, follow me" or "I'll let you know If I need some help, just leave me alone", or "I just want to be alone" or is your child like this, "Can we just do this together, will you come be near me"? Or there's other children who say, "Tell me what to do and I'll do it". What is your child like? Whether they're young or whether they're older, what are they like? Learn to foster that, learn to care for them.
The second thing that we learn in a family is character. We learn our habits, we learn our traits. It's in family that we even learn how to dress, to be respected or how to be successful. We learn how to be Godly with our mouth and we learn how to be honest. We even learn how to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. Parent, teach your kid to have character, teach them to be someone that can be respected. It's amazing to me, I remember one time I was hiring for a youth pastor and the youth pastor didn't show up. Listen, I don't mind if a youth pastor wears jeans and a t-shirt, but if you're showing up for an interview, you better show up like you want the thing.
Some of you say this younger generation doesn't understand. They don't, they need to be taught. Again, I don't care if you've got tattoos or have an earring in your ear. I really don't care about all that, that's between you and God. I'm not talking about legalism, I'm talking about training our children in the way they should go so that they are respected and helped and succeed. That's a parent's job. Now, if they choose not to do it, they might work at McDonald's for a long time, you love them anyway. But we help them to go on.
One of the things we have in our home as you enter at the front door is home rules right there on the wall. At the top of it is "Love the Lord with all your heart". The next one is "Always be honest". How many know kids learn honesty at home? "Count your Blessings", "Bear each other's burdens", "Forgive and let it go" and Mom and Dad, they'll learn that from you. "Be kind and tender hearted", "Comfort one another", "Keep your promises", "Be supportive of one another" and all these have Bible verses that go with it. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to hang these in the hallway of the church. Can I tell you why? How many know a church is a family? "Be true to each other, be supportive of one another". We have a saying with the boys, "If you mess with my Bro, you've got to go". What does that mean? Family sticks together. Treat your family like you treat your friends. "Love one another deeply from the heart", "Look after each other" and lastly, "Laugh". A home should be a place of laughter, that's one of the reasons I add jokes to the sermon. How many know family should be able to laugh? The things that we do is serious business but in the midst of being serious God wants us to enjoy all that he has for us.
I want to close with this. The last thing that a healthy family does and I want to remind you that we're warriors, is we protect our children. A healthy family protects the children. If there was someone at the door, a criminal with a gun, you certainly wouldn't open the door. As a matter of fact, I'd keep the door locked and even though I'm a hot blooded Pentecostal, I'm still an American and I have a weapon in my closet. If you come to hurt my family, I trust Jesus, but Smith and Wesson is going to get involved in the process.
Parents, we need to protect our kids. What you let them do on the computer, what you let them watch on tv, the things that come into your home, you have the right to protect your family and we should do it. We can't protect our children from all the storms of life that come but we can protect them in the storms. Home is always supposed to be a place of safety. Even if what's going on around you is rocking, the house is like the ark. That's why Mom and Dad, it's important that you pray together and love each other as husband and wife. That's why it's important that you let your kids know that you care for them because things happen.
One of the storms that will come is change. Life brings with it lots of change. Jobs can change, the economy, relationships can change but listen, how many know that the kids need to see Mom and Dad, brothers and sisters sticking together? They become something that is stable in the midst of life's changes. Storms come but children can be encouraged in the midst of the storm. As a matter of fact I think that the home should be the greatest place of hope in faith in God no matter what goes on.
I remember growing up and money was getting hard but my mother always said, "Listen, we trust God". There were times when we were poor but the truth is we didn't know we were poor. Why? Because Mom in the midst of the storm protected us. She didn't tell us what was in the bank book. She didn't tell us what was going on in her life or when she was having fights with Dad. I've come from family when after my Dad died my Mom remarried and he was a man that began to beat her up. We saw that but in the midst of that Mom protected us. She said, "Listen kids, God will always be there for us no matter what comes against us". I watched the Lord be strength for my mother and she protected us in those storms. We got put out of our house because the man made that house his own. We had to go live with some people for awhile but my mother always said, "You watch, God is going to take care of us. He's going to give us the house back and everything back. You watch how he'll take care of us". We would pray, we were with church people who would pray. I want to tell you, there was a day when we walked back into our home. I watched God be faithful.
Mom and Dad, you will protect your children. Grandma and grandpa, you will help protect your grandchildren. Mom and Dad, when your adult children are going through the storms and trials, some of your kids are going through a divorce right now and they are hurting. Mom and Dad, you protect them and be a shelter with Jesus. How many know God gives us those tools to be able to do those things?
Building a healthy family doesn't happen by accident but it always comes with this first choice that Joshua said in Joshua 24:15, "But as for me and my household we will serve the Lord". If you will serve Him then your kids will serve Him. If you will serve Him then your grandkids will serve Him. If you will serve Him then your great grandkids will serve Him. The truth is this, what my kids don't completely understand right now is even if they choose to walk away from God they don't stand a chance because God already gave me the promise, "As for me and my household we will serve the Lord".
