I want to speak a message entitled, "Gaining Respect". Turn with me in your Bibles to Proverbs 22:1, "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches; loving favor rather than silver and gold".
Father, we thank you this morning for your faithfulness. We thank you for your love for us and your joy that is in this place. May this word strike deep into our hearts. May we decrease and may you increase, in Jesus name, amen.
We hear a lot today about giving respect but today what I want to look at rather than just being respectful to others is about us becoming respectable. Ecclesiastes 7:1 says, "A good name is better than precious ointment". The Bible puts a premium on the character of a person. It's all about character, not just about being a character. The world today wants to create a lot of characters but we need people of great depth and character especially in the body of Christ. How many know the difference of being a character and having character?
Today there's a different perception of respect. Gang members fight to have respect. They steal and beat each other up and think they have respect. Kids are walking around calling adults by their first name instead of addressing them as Mr or Mrs and having a respect for all adults regardless of their age or station in society. People need to respect our police officers. These men and women who have put their life on the line for us were always known as the good guys and today somehow we just think they're the bad guys. The next time you get pulled over, remember you probably were doing something wrong. You may not want to thank the guy who pulled you over because you may get a ticket but I dare you to be nice to him. The truth is it may be Pastor Bob so you better be careful what your attitude is. They deserve our respect.
People today will do anything for money and they'll do anything for notoriety. All you have to do is look at the reality shows today. You can look like a fool and people don't believe that it matters as long as people know who you are. They don't respect you. How many have seen the balloon boy family? He put his boy in a closet and told him to lie to everybody just so he could get on tv. Party crashers that go to the White House just so they can get famous instead of showing respect for the office of the President regardless of what you think of him.
Today people don't know the difference between a reputation and respect. Reputation is all about image control and the world around us promotes that. It's all about packaging and marketing. They say how people perceive us is based on external factors. It's the image that we sell to others even if there's nothing good inside. Even today, people say to Pastor's all the time that it's all about marketing your church to the community. That couldn't be farther from the truth. If you will live for Jesus and be honest and not be about money; if you will share the unadulterated gospel of Jesus Christ; raise the dead, heal the sick, comfort those who are hurting, and minister to those in need; Jesus said that if you will lift him up then all men will be drawn unto Him. There's got to be something inside you that people desire and see and want. It's not about marketing, it's about character.
Christian, the same can be said about you and I. Respect is all about character. With character you see the whole package, not just the face you want to present or the thing yuou want people to see. All the time I hear people say it doesn't matter what people think about them but that couldn't be farther from the truth. If you're a Christian it does matter what people think. I understand that there are some dour, sour people all the time and after you have done all you can do, if they don't think any better of you then that's their tough luck. But I've found that it even matters what my critics think because the truth is sometimes my critics have been right. Sometimes your critics are right. It does matter what people think. It's not all about the image and the package but how you present yourself and how you live makes a difference.
I believe that how you dress and what you do with yourself says a lot about you. I'm not here to give you some weird pentecostal thing that you shouldn't have this kind of hair or wear this type of clothes but the truth is how you look people respond to you. That's why on Sundays I do dress well. You don't see me coming in here with a a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. You'd have a much different thought of your pastor if he came in like that on a Sunday morning. Not that it would be wrong, I'm still the same guy. I've had people come up to me with all these piercings and tattoos and can't understand why anyone won't hire them. Present yourself with respect. How many understand the point that I'm making? I'm not trying to chase anyone away but what I'm trying to say is that you need to present yourself well. Sometimes people won't get past the package but people will get past the package. You can wear a suit and look as well as you want but as soon as people meet you they will know exactly who you are. Do you realize when you speak someone's name you immediately connect that person with their character? Let me give you a few names and see if you can put their character with them: Billy Graham, Jesse James, Abraham Lincoln, Bernie Madoff, Sarah Palin, Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Charles Stanley. As soon as I mention those names things go through your head and whether you want to believe it or not, when people speak your name they immediately think of your character not just your face. They can put 2 and 2 together very quickly.
Proverbs 22:1 says, "A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches". As a matter of fact your self worth is more valuable than your net worth. How are you esteemed? Highly or lowly? Here's a good question, what do people think of you? What do they feel when they hear your name? Do they smile? Do they straighten up? Do they cringe? How many have caller id on your telephone? How many check that caller id before you decide to pick up the phone? That name immediately comes to your mind. A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches.
Proverbs 3:3-4 says, "Let not mercy and truth forsake you, bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart and so find favor and high esteem in the sight of God and man". I want to have favor in the sight of God and I want to have favor in the sight of man. My prayer is when people hear my name it's a very pleasant thing to them. Mercy and truth are all about good character. One of the goals of life is to find favor and high esteem with God and with man. People say it doesn't matter what people think but it does, because as a Christian we carry the name of Christ so when your name is mentioned, do they put you and Him together?
One thing we must understand about respect is that it must be earned, not just once in a lifetime but with each relationship we have. There is never a time where you arrive, where everyone should just automatically respect you. It is the moment where we begin to take that for granted and we forget that every relationship that we have makes a difference, every business transaction that we have makes a difference, every person we come in contact with, that respect makes a difference. Your reputation may precede you but when people meet you they will discern for themselves who we truly are.
I remember one time I got to meet someone truly famous, we were taking a tour of some studios in Pittsburgh. I had always wanted to meet this person and we were just kids and when we walked through the tv studio it was beautiful to see this and that and the whole image. How many have ever been inside a tv studio before? It's all about image. The room that looks really big on tv is actually like a shoebox. I couldn't wait to meet this person. He looked so nice and wonderful and I thought the world of him. Then as we were walking through I saw him chain smoking and cussing like a sailor. Immediately my perception of him was changed because the reality of who he was.
There are people whom we automatically respect because of who they are. First of all we are to give our parents respect because they deserve that. The truth is, Mom and Dad, you will also continue to earn your children's respect. Government leaders deserve our respect, the Bible says, because they are in a place of authority. We should respect the Police, our teachers and people who care for us. But even those people whom we are to give respect to must continually earn that respect. True character is what people will respond to after they have initially given you the benefit of the doubt. People will respect you after they discern that you have character. They will trust and value your opinion when you have earned the right to influence and speak into their life.
How many believe that the church needs to be a place of character? And if we will do that we will earn the right to influence and speak to people's lives. The truth is you can look at many churches and people won't respect them. Over the decades the church has really lost that influence in the world because of our behavior and because of the things we have put an emphasis on. People will trust you if you will show kindness and caring, if you will be transparent and honest.
The Bible speaks of several ways that we can earn the respect of others. The first one is this, respect is earned by being a person of integrity. Integrity deals with the idea that our words and deeds line up. It deals with us being honest, truthful and fair. What we say and do is actually how we live. Proverbs 10:9 says, "He who walks with integrity walks securely but he who perverts his way will become known". Whatever you do with your life you will become known. The Bible says that even a child is known by their deeds. How many see kids running around and already know exactly what they're like? Those who walk with integrity will always be secure. People will know if you're a man or woman of integrity. They may not always like what you have to say and they may not always agree with your position but they will know you're doing the right thing.
Integrity deals with the idea of purity in every walk of our life, not only our honesty but the way we treat others, the way we are a blessing. I know that people are always watching to see how I treat people; If I'll be mean or nice, if I favor some over others or treat others poorly just because of the way they look or the way they are. Do you realize that your kids and other people are watching you too? How you handle money is an issue of integrity. The way we control our anger or our words is an issue of integrity. Proverbs 4:3 says, "The integrity of the upright will guide them but the perversity of the unfaithful will destroy them".
People will respect you because your integrity will always guide your moral compass. You will want to live for God and do the things that are pleasing to the Lord. You're not dealing with gray areas, you're not even trying to make a distinction between them. Those with integrity will step out and do what God would do every moment and every time as best as they can. We'll make mistakes but we've got to live according to God's word. But the perversity of unfaithfulness will destroy you, when you start walking the line, seeing what you can get away with, the way you deal with people, the way you handle the money, the things that you say and what you do. Isn't it amazing, in some Baptist churches they say they have 10,000 members that are a part of their church but the truth is there's only about 50 that show up on Sunday morning. Something is not measuring up.
What about your life? Are you stretching the truth? Proverbs 29:23 says, "A man's pride will bring him low but the humble in spirit will retain honor". That's what my next point is: respect is earned through humility. Proverbs 15:33 says, "Before honor is humility". When people can see true humility, it immediately gets their attention. The truth is humility is a rare thing. How many of you just watch people walking around? There is such a lack of humility, they have to be out there and be number one. That is what we're teaching this next generation. I've got a sermon title I can't wait to preach next month, it's called "Generation Me". We have a whole bunch of people walking around that believe it's got to be all about them. But when we are able to treat people with courtesy and as truly important when they see that we're willing to set aside our goals and our plans to help others succeed then there is success.
We need humility especially at this time of year. At Christmas time what you see is "Generation Me" all over in our stores. There were so many people out on Black Friday but when it's called Black Friday I'm not going. I was talking to someone who had gone out on black Friday and had gone into one of the stores and found one of those awesome laptops on sale for like $200 that normally sells for $800. She had walked around that store and had been trusting God for it and when she came up there was a man holding the very last one and behind him was a group of people just being rude. The old man didn't know anything about computers, he just wanted to bless a college student that was in his family. One of the ladies that we know very well had walked up very kindly and said, "I know these people are being very rude and honestly I've been praying and believing for something like that. If you're not going to buy that I'll just be waiting right over here". She didn't get into a fight with anybody else but just said what she said and stepped away. The man decided that wasn't the product that he wanted and everyone started pushing and shoving and he decided to give it to the lady who was nice. How many know that God will bless those who are humble? She walked out with that great gift, that miracle, because she had been courteous and helpful to a man.
It is possible to be "Type A" and still be humble. People are turned off by arrogance. You can be "Type A" in your business and you can still get things done and love other people. You can still do the job and go for the gusto and help other people out. Proverbs 29:23 says, "A man's pride will bring him low but the humble in spirit will retain honor". True humility is a draw, it will draw people right to you. I believe that nothing is as respectable as humility. Just because you're humble doesn't make you a doormat. As a matter of fact, true humility becomes an open door and it makes a difference in people's lives.
Respect is earned through dependability. People who are going to be there and who you can count on, who will be there through thick and thin. If you look over your life, you will find that the people you respect the most are dependable. They are the ones whom you know will keep their word. If they say it they will do it even if it costs them. How many know someone like that? You can probably think about someone who said they'd do something for you and something else came up but they were still there; those who speak what they mean and mean what they say. I respect people who will keep their promises and keep their commitments. We live in a time and day where people say, "I'll keep my commitment if it works out".
Psalms 15:1-5 says, "Lord, who may abide in your tabernacle? Who may dwell in your holy hill? He who walks uprightly and works righteousness and speaks the truth in his heart; He who does not backbite with his tongue nor does evil to his neighbor; nor does he take up a reproach against his friend and whose eyes a vile person is despised. But he honors those who fear the Lord and he swears to his own hurt and does not change; He that does not put out his money as usury nor does he take a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things shall never be moved".
When you are dependable with your words, with your finances, with your commitments and your loyalty to others; when you won't talk against others behind their back; How many have ever found out that there was someone who talked behind your back and all of a sudden it really changed what you thought about them? We need to be people who can be depended upon, those who say what they mean. How many believe that we need people who are simple speakers? No one is more faithful and dependable than someone you can actually understand. In this world of political correctness I don't want to deal with people who tell you, "I will tell you what it means depending on what the meaning of it is". I always thought "is" means "is". I didn't know there was another meaning to it. Mean what you say and quit trying to play with semantics. Let your words be plain and simple so that people can depend on you.
Next, respect is earned by having principles and priorities. I want you to picture people that you know who have absolutely no goals. Think about that 19 year old who has no clue. Think about that 40 or 50 year old who have no ideas. I want you to picture a person you know who is driven solely by business and success. How do you feel about them? Now I'd like you to picture someone who you respect immensely. What is important to them? What motivates them? I find that the people you respect have depth and dimension. They are people with goals and dreams that are bigger than themselves. Priorities that go beyond their own comfort and their own thing. Men or women who care for their children and their spouses; people who want to reach the world for Jesus; people who understand what it means to be kind to others and reach out and minister and touch a life.
1st Timothy 4:8 says, "Bodily exercise profits a little but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise for the life that now is and that which is to come". Bodily exercise is good but how many are thankful for people who have got something more in store for life than just how they look? Have you ever met those guys who are pumping iron all the time and just love how they look? Those people just make me laugh and they do look good, they're all muscle. It's good if you do look that good, that's awesome. But you get into conversation with some of them and ask, "What do you think about that?" and they don't have a clue. There is nothing more cool than to see some of those sports guys who play football. They are buffed and hardhitters; they have made money and are successful then they come out and care for people. Heath Evans from Palm Beach and someone from the Patriots were filling up Jupiter Stadium raising money for abused and battered children. How cool to have a thought beyond yourself? How cool to pray and seek the face of God and bring it to people. Those are people you can respect; they have depth and dimension.
There are two priority questions that I must be able to answer with my life that affect all my decisions. I talk about this question with people all the time in conversations or in counseling. There are two questions if you are going to have depth and dimension that need to be answered. Number one, "Is God pleased with me?" It doesn't matter what we accomplish in our life but is God pleased with me? Number two is, "Am I pleased that God is pleased with me and is that good enough for me?" The truth is it doesn't matter what else we do. Those that are respected know that God is pleased with them. Some people that God is pleased with, others aren't that pleased with but that doesn't matter. That will help me put my family before business and to put quality over quantity. It will help me to treat others with kindness. We earn the respect of others when they see that we truly put God first in our life.
I was out the other day on Friday doing some Christmas shopping. I wanted to get it out of the way and didn't want to be one of those men on the 24th. We were out at the store and it began to pour like nobody's business. How many have noticed at this time of year that some people are as cranky as the day is long? But we want God to be pleased with us no matter where we are or what we're doing. I remember in the store and the cashier was getting a little cranky and I just smiled at her because people had been treating her pretty bad all day. Sometimes you're in a store and no matter what you say to the cashier she's going to stay that way so then what you do is smile at the people behind you to bless them. Then instead of that cashier poisoning you and the people behind you, you begin to bless the people and pretty soon the whole atmosphere changes.
Respect is earned by taking what we do with our life seriously. To be serious is not to be dour and grumpy. Serious people are human, they know how to relax and have fun; they know how to be joyful and have a good time; but those who are serious rise to a level of maturity that demonstrates a life led by the wisdom of God. How many know Mark Lowry? He's one of the funniest men you will ever see. I would love to hang out with him. I love it when he grab's Bill's Gaither's hair and lets everyone know he's got a toupe'. But the truth is this, the man loves God. He will leave you crying and in stitches but there is such an anointing on that man's life; he has perfected the craft of singing. Who would ever think that comedian could have a voice that can touch heaven? Who would think that this guy who can joke around and mess with everybody is the same one that wrote the song, "Mary, did you know?" Now you have people from all over the world singing it. He can laugh but he's respected. Those who are respected have all types of personalities but what sets them apart is they are not foolish. Foolish is more than unrestrained goofiness; it is uncontrolled anger or moodiness or delving into random acts without thought.
Ecclesiastes 10:1 says, "Dead flies putrify the perfumers ointment and cause it to give a foul odor; so does a little folly to one respected for wisdom and honor". Christian, It's ok to laugh and to have fun but foolishness in our life can cost us. Bosses, you may tell your whole company that you love God; you may tell all your employees that you're living for Jesus. You who work for other people and you're representing Christ in the marketplace but all of a sudden you decide to have a bad day and begin to cuss people out. One act of foolishness could cost you respect. Maybe they see you cutting corners, not doing the invoices just right or paying the taxes correctly, or paying a few people under the table or just indulging in conversation that isn't glorifying to God. The Bible says that a little folly to one respected for wisdom and honor is like a dead fly that putrifies the ointment.
Lastly I want to leave you with this, those who are respected lead a generous life. One of the surest ways I believe to gain respect is to be kind to others who have need. Those in abundance will learn from your example and those in need will be grateful for what you have done. This is the kindness ministry and it is so valuable to the cause of Christ. When we reach out and touch those in need and say, "We don't want anything from you or need anything from you; we don't want your money; we're not even looking for you to join the church; we just want you to know that Jesus loves you and he cares for you".
You know one of the things that makes me the proudest to serve as your pastor and have great respect for this church? Is that every time a need is presented to this body, you all meet that need. This Sunday every child from Real Life Children's Ranch was picked up and people have already started bringing gifts in. The selflessness with which you give your life to share with people brings great respect to the cause of Christ. The moment we said we're going to reach out and feed the hungry and are going to give some meals to those in need over Thanksgiving, this church stood up and responded with a caring and loving heart to do it. When we were giving out those Christmas lists for the ranch and not everyone can do this but one guy said, "I'm not going to buy that one gift for that kid, I'm going to buy something for every one of them". I said, "That's nice but you don't have to do that".
One of the reasons why things go on in our communities and the world doubts what's going on in the body of Christ is because the credibility of the work of God has been ruined because of people's selfishness. But those who are unselfish and will love others; those who will touch others without expecting anything in return will be blessed. Psalms 112 says, "A good man deals graciously and lends. He has dispersed abroad and given to the poor. His righteousness endures forever and his horn will be exalted with honor". One of the greatest ways to lift up the name of Christ is to give to others. I pray that over this Christmas you will be the most giving that you could ever be. The truth is that most of us in this room are going to be very very blessed. It's not about the gifts that we receive, it's about the gifts we give and most gifts that are good don't cost a thing.
When we walked outside the store it was raining and pouring. We saw some ladies that were sitting there and they started to get a little cranky and I just looked at them and said, "Isn't it fun to live in Florida? Isn't it a blessing? It could be fun, I'm going to run to the car. Stay out of my way so I don't splash you on the way". I didn't even know who they were and they just smiled. I started running in the rain and next thing I knew there was a mom and her daughter who had been complaining about the rain just begin to have a good time together. There is so much that we can give and share; a smile that we can give, hope that we can say, people that we can pray with. I pray that we will grow in honor and favor with God and man. I pray that as a church and as people we would be respected and respectable. Young people, be someone that can be respected. Adults, let's be respectable with our life so that what people see when they hear our name is Jesus. Amen
