How many of you have ever gotten angry before? Turn with me in your Bibles to the book of Ephesians 4:26, "Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath".
Father, this morning we thank you for your word. Holy Spirit, we thank you that you are a life changing God. Holy Spirit, this may be an issue in this room where many of us have had to deal with that in the past and for some of us you're still working in our lives. I pray that today you would be glorified in this issue of anger and those who are struggling with it would have it broken today in the name of Jesus. Lord, I bind every spirit of the enemy that would come to stand against this today and I thank you God they have no authority in this place but we give you preeminence. May we decrease and may you increase. Amen.
A man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years. They'd shared everything, they'd talked about everything and had kept no secrets from each other except that the woman had a little shoebox that she had kept in the top of her closet. She said to her husband, "Listen, we'll talk about everything, you can know about everything but this little shoebox, I want you never to ask me about it and I want you to never open it". For all their 60 years of marriage he never did and had never even thought about the box but one day the lady had gotten ill and she was in the hospital and the doctor said she might not recover. The man as he was sorting things out went into the closet and saw that shoebox and decided this might really be the time to take a look at this. So he took the box to his wife's bedside and she agreed that it was time that they should open the box. When he opened it he found that there were 2 crocheted dolls in there and $95,000.
He asked her about it and she said "My grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was never to be angry and never argue". She said "Whenever you get angry with your husband you just need to keep quiet and go crochet a doll". The man was so overwhelmed because in that box there were only 2 dolls and he started crying and thought how wonderful it is that over all these years she had only been angry at him twice. He was bursting out with loving happiness and said, "Honey, that explains the 2 dolls but what about all this money that's in the box?" She said, "That money is from all the dolls I already sold". Praise God.
How many in this room have ever had some issues with anger? On Wednesday nights we've been preaching on this series on emotions. It's interesting because anger was an area in my life, not that I always flew off the handle but there were certain moments when I would allow it purposely to get the best of me. There were certain times that I enjoyed that emotion and allowed it to have its way. How many know this is an area of our life where we need to make sure that Jesus is our everything? Of all the emotions that we have I think perhaps anger is one of the rawest and strongest and potentially one of the most destructive emotions that you and I ever have.
I want to remind us that every emotion is something that God has given us and God allows us to have. But how many know that everything that we have and everything that we are must be submitted and surrendered to Jesus Christ?
The first murder in history took place because of anger. It took place out of jealousy that began to build. The truth is that every one of us does get angry. Some of it is justified and some of it is not justified. Anger is an amazing emotion because it registers on so many different levels. It can start out with just a little bit of irritation then it can move on and build into frustration and pretty soon it can grow into annoyance and into resentfulness. Finally it can give way to wrath and rage. All of us have watched pople who have gone into a rage or have had a temper tantrum at some point or another.
It's amazing because anger is built in from the day that you're born. How many have seen one of those kids in the grocery store having one of their temper tantrums? How many are thankful when a parent takes care of it? Parents, if you have a little kid and he's having a fit throughout the store, don't just ignore it and give them piece of candy, do something about it.
You've got to train up a child while they are young. That's just a little free advice. If they're in the restaurant screaming, do something about it. Someone say a good amen.
Feelings of anger are the symptom and usually come from the sense that there's something going on in life that is not sitting right with us. There's a frustration or a hurt that has been building and is not being dealt with correctly. That's when anger begins to go on. The Bible has a great deal to say about this subject. It's not surprising to me because anger really is something that has become more prevalent as society goes on. People seem angry all the time today. Have you noticed that? You can't go into the grocery store without seeing someone who is a little angry. The truth is that emotion begins to stir, it's catching, kind of like a virus. If one person is kind of ticked off, it seems to just flow through the whole thing. How many believe we need to make sure that begins to stop? You can see it happen in the home and on the streets, it's amazing.
I want to say this to us, anger has nothing to do with our ancestry. Every culture declares that they're angry because of who they are. It has nothing to do with the region that you were brought up in but anger pure and simple is a matter of self control. It's a matter of a life surrendered to God.
As God began to talk to me about this message several months ago, He told me "What I want to do in the life of the church on that morning is going to be strong". If you have come here this morning and anger is an issue in your life or if anger is an issue in your family, I believe that people are going to be set free. I want to encourage people to listen to the word of God because anger is one of the most destructive things. The world walks around saying things like, "Give peace a chance and be a lover not a hater"and all those good slogans that they come up with are marvelous things. The truth is anger is a tool that the enemy is using prevalently in homes, in schools, in churches and in countries. It's important that we let the Lord have his way in that.
Anger is common to everyone, even God. The Bible says. "To be angry and sin not". So what we need to understand is this, anger in itself is not a sin. I meet Christians who feel that somehow if you live for Jesus that all of a sudden your life is going to be this great even plain of emotional feeling. To say, "I'm never going to feel the ecstasy of love or I'm never going to feel the fiery furnace of anger or I'm never going to feel afraid and somehow life is going to be nice and smooth". How many know the only thing that ever does this is a flat line in a hospital?
Anger is a part of what we feel. It's not surprising that anger is mentioned as a precurser to sin throughout the Bible. The Bible says, "Be angry and sin not". What we do with our thoughts, with our words, with our actions, they matter because the results of what happens when we allow these things to take root will show the results and they'll speak for themselves.
Psalm 103:8 says, "The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in mercy". James 1:19-20 in the NIV puts it this way, "My dear brothers, take note of this, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires".
All of us understand that the idea of living for Jesus is to allow him to be our everything, so we wind up being just like Him. When we begin to live that righteous life, slow to anger is part of that righteous life that lives in us. The truth is if we are slow to anger when we are angry and it is ok to get angry at things because anger is a motivator to do something when things aren't right. But that slowness to anger helps us to respond correctly in wisdom when we are angry. Slow to anger can be the difference between disciplining a child and abusing a child. It can be the difference between realizing that there is something not right in the relationship between you and your spouse and reaching out and touching someone in the wrong way. We need to know that it's ok to get angry because God gets angry and we need to realize that even in his anger God is never irrational, never out of control. He is always patient with people and slow in his anger. God ?s anger only lasts for a moment and is always motivated by love. When he acts in anger it is an expression of his goodness and concern even when God must discipline. Why? Because God knows how to get people's attention and do it right.
It's ok to be motivated by righteous anger. I believe that God will stir us to stand out against things that offend God or damage people. Jesus did. Remember when the temple was being used as a marketplace and in order for people to get close to God they had to bring sacrifices and many people couldn't afford things but they'd come to offer the sacrifices. That temple was filled with animals and the moneychangers were taking advantage of people and when Jesus walked into the house of God and saw that taking place he said, "My house shall be a house of prayer" and he began to overturn the tables and scatter the money, it was chaos in that place. Listen, how many know Jesus was motivated by love? Somehow in the church we have got this feeling that if Christians stand up for what is right we'll do it in an almost unconfrontational way. Can I tell you we serve the most confrontational God in the world?
Jesus was always motivated by love? What he did would get the attention of people and set it right. I'm not telling you to go out and burn down abortion clinics and shoot doctors and all of that. Someone say a good amen. I believe that it's important that Christians stand up. I know when we were out at Real Life Children's Ranch that there would be kids that were being harmed by their parents, horrible things that had been done to them, and all of a sudden these parents would want to come in. I want to tell you I had no problem as a man and as a Christian if they were coming to do things for the kids to say, "You have to go through me first. If I can't do it physically because you're bigger than I am then I've got a God that's going to strike you with a bolt of lightning because you're not going to touch that kid". How many know righteous anger is a good thing?
I believe that even in the church when we're dealing with these issues in the home and as we're helping people be whole, it is ok that we stand up. Being patient and balanced does not mean that we are so tolerant that we let things go on without standing up for righteousness. There are times anger demands that we be confrontational. There are times that we need to confront kids and there are times that you need to deal with issues in your marriage. There are times when you need to deal with things at work and anger helps you know that you have gotten to the point that something needs to be dealt with but it also needs to be dealt with according to God's ways.
The truth is that anger used the wrong way can cause great damage. Those who are always angry don't realize the extent of the hurt and the fear and the ruin that they can leave in their wake after they've had an outburst or after they've flown off the handle. Anger powerfully effects you and it effects people's perception of you. It's amazing how you can live a righteous life and you can be clean and pure but how just one moment when you let your flesh take advantage of you and you step out in that anger and it begins to move from righteousness into sinfulness, how quickly that can erode all the relationships that you've established.
Anger can hurt a marriage and families. It can create great emotional damage on children and spouses and it's a major destroyer of relationships. It can create mistrust and distrust. Words that we say that crush and wound that we really never meant to say. Anger has ruined many careers. I want you to hear me this morning, if you are one of those who struggle with anger, the first thing we need to understand is that there is room for maturity and growth in our lives to be more like Jesus. Anger is foolish because it not only hurts those we lash out at but anger ties us in knots and we begin to suffer as well. There is not one person who flies off the handle and feels good about what they did or feels good about themselves later on. Why am I talking about this? Because the truth is, all of us at some point or another unless you are just a dead person, will have to deal with this.
The idea is that we live godly lives in every area. The Bible says that those who can control their anger, those who can control their emotions, are strong and wise. It's important that we understand that as Christians, God wants us to be strong. In America we believe that strength is based on so much power to do and to say, to intimidate and manipulate. Even though we talk about it in church and in society people know the difference between right and wrong, we really give alot of credence and leeway to those who are always coming out and being strong and aggressive and we almost will give them that place of superiority.
The Bible says that those who can control themselves really are the strong people. Proverbs 16:32 says, "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city". Proverbs 19:11 says, "The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger and his glory is to overlook a transgression". Whats a transgression? There are sins that we do but a transgression is something that is done against us. A transgression is something that is alot like a trespass. You know when people get all over your property? A transgression is when people get all over you. How many of you have ever been transgressed against?
Those who can overlook a wrong or a hurt, or a slight, or disrespect, those who don't lose sleep or peace because of what happened. How many have ever been in the grocery store and someone cuts you off and it just ruined your whole night? Or you were walking out of church and everything was going good but someone just said something to you for whatever reason and it ticked you off. Then you were walking around your house and nobody could understand why they had to walk on eggshells around you but you knew that something wasn't right.
Those who don't lose the sleep or the peace that God has given them are powerful and those who are slow to react are powerful instead of letting those things on impulse become what we do. But those who are easily hurt or easily offended, those who become unglued very quickly, the Bible says they are foolish. Why? Because we do alot of things when we are like that, that we regret. I wonder if there's anyone in here that's ever done a little thing that you've regretted once or twice in life?
Proverbs 14:29 says, "He who is slow to wrath or anger has great understanding but he who is impulsive exalts folly". Ecclesiastes 7:9 says, "Do not haste in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools".
It's interesting, I was driving down the road and needed to make a u-turn and as I did I misjudged the closeness of another vehicle but it seemed to upset the guy because he was in one of those hotrods and flooring it and the next thing I knew he was coming around my car and as he did he was letting me know that I was number one in his book and I really appreciated that. First of all, I think he'd feel real foolish if he knew who he just flipped off. I wanted to follow him and tell him I was the pastor of Harvest Community and invite him over. Glory to God. I remember when I was younger those things used to get on my nerves. I'd step on the gas and follow the people and then get in front of them and go real slow. I did that one time in a really nice car and someone was driving a car that they really didn't care about and they decided they were going to try and get me off the road. Anger makes you do stupid things. I was foolish but many who struggle with anger realize how foolish it is. Anger will make a fool of you and you will foolishly hurt those that you care about by the things that we do and say.
I remember one time when we were in Portland, Oregon with the youth group. We had the Motley crew of youth groups, it was my first youth group and I just thought, "Dear God, where have you sent me?" A girl who was very beautiful had moved in with this one boy, the mother had let them and of course they were sleeping together. This boy was doing all kinds of drugs. One Wednesday night she came into my youth group and she had a black eye, he had hit her. I was 20 something years old and wanted to tell him that if he wanted to swing at someone to come take me on. So I called him up and said, "I've told her she needs to move out and I'm looking for a place for her". So he calls me back and started calling me every name in the book. I kept thinking to myself that I'm not scared of this little punk. I'm going to go down there in the name of Jesus and show him a thing or two. So I get my wife and my daughter into the car and we pull up in front of his house and he comes out and starts throwing things at my car. I took one look at his eyes and I realized that he was high. How many know you don't take your wife and your daughter in your car over to a high drug addicts house to teach him the ways of Jesus? As I'm half way up to the door I recognize he's got a gun in his belt and a knife in his hand. I turned around and I went home. How many know that anger will let you do foolish, foolish things? Even in ministry. I approached the kid a whole lot different after that.
Listen, anger can put your family in a dangerous place. You may not do something stupid like I did but you may do something equally as stupid in your house by what you're saying or doing or what you're throwing or on your workplace or wherever you are. If our relationships are to function in a healthy manner, anger must be under control. I want to speak this, many people think that they are angry because of their troubles but many people have troubles because they are always angry. There is an anger that stirs up and we need to understand that constant anger in our life gives the devil a foothold. It can become a way of life instead of us troubling the troubler, the troubler begins to trouble us in all kinds of areas because that area of our life isn't surrendered to Him.
Those that are always angry are at odds with other people and angry with themselves. Anger always stirs up trouble. That's why the enemy likes us to be stirred up all the time and in that mode. Some of you have been hurt by some big things in your past and the reason that there is anger in your life is because those things haven't yet been healed by the Lord or you haven't given them to Jesus yet. So that anger festers and that unforgiveness is stirring up in the heart. How many know that if the enemy has got us troubling things ourselves it makes his job a whole lot easier. Proverbs 29:22 says, "An angry man stirs up strife and the furious man abounds in transgression". That means that not only is he stirring up all kinds of problems, he's just like we've been transgressed upon, that angry person is always doing those same type of things to other people.
Those who are bitter, those who are always angry begin to have problems everywhere. Those who are habitually angry begin to sin in many different areas of life. They'll transgress God's ways and they'll begin to transgress people's ways. Proverbs 11:29 says, "He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind". Listen, many who are constantly angry are dealing with a root of bitterness in their life. Maybe you're here this morning and there are some things that have gone on since way back. Some people have been angry since they were little kids. Some people are angry because of a marriage that went sour. Some people are angry because of something going on at work and they feel ripped off. It doesn't matter where its coming from but bitterness begins to sit in. Something happened that began to hurt you and over time it began to take such root and move from resentment and unforgiveness that has really become such a part of life. The truth is that many times you no longer even recognize the need for healing. Infection of bitterness has begun to affect all kinds of areas of life. Have you ever looked at a root that comes out of a tree? It starts out, then comes down and branches out. It's important that those roots of bitterness get cut out of our lives.
Bitterness always starts with a legitimate reason. Something that happened in life that truly not only offended but deeply hurt you and began to stir inside of your being, something that you couldn't let go of and its taken root in your life and has begun to branch out. Listen, you may be old now after years and years of that and that anger is still seething. How many have noticed that once the roots get out they're really hard to dislodge? The truth is this, the only one that can heal that is Jesus. This morning he will do it. That anger that may have been against a parent has now begun to affect your children. That anger that affected a former marriage is somehow coming in and affecting your current one. That anger you had when you were a kid because you were hurt or that failure that you had in business is now affecting your new one or its consuming your life.
Hebrews 12:14-15 says, "Pursue peace with all people and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord, looking carefully, lest anyone fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness spring up causing trouble and by this many become defiled".
I want to challenge you that there are some ways to overcome anger. Number one is this, lay down your anger and your bitterness and give it all to the Lord. Lay it all down. How do you do that? You first start by repenting. The truth is those who have constantly dealt with this issue have something to repent of. Things that they've said and things that they've done become sin. Once we dislodge sin, God can always do the work. "Lord, today I repent of those outbursts, I repent of those words, I repent of that way I treated people, and today I lay it all down". Allow God to heal the hurts, no matter how wrong the person was who hurt you. Forgive them. I want you to remember this, anger is a choice and so is living for the Lord. So make the first step. The Bible says that each day we're to work out our own salvation. That's called sanctification. How many know sanctification is God's behavior modification program? You can go to all the counselor's and be behavior modified all you want but if you would live for Jesus, he will modify it.
The 2nd way to overcome anger is to recognize what your anger is doing to those around you. Look at the hurt and the devastation that it has left in the past. Realize what anger is doing to your family, to your spouse, to your children. How do they respond to you? Or is your family becoming just like you? If your always angry, do you find your kids being always angry? If your always angry, do you find your spouse always being angry with you? Anger is one of the greatest infections the world will ever have. It's catchy.
Psalms 22:24-25 says, "Make no friendship with an angry man and with a furious man do not go lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul".
The 3rd way is to give all your cares to Jesus. Much anger is from a sense of helplessness, worry and even anxiety. I want to encourage you this morning, instead of letting frustration build until you blow your top, release the pressure by letting all those things go to Jesus.
Psalms 34:7-8 says, "Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for him. Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass". Cease from anger, forsake wrath.
Lastly what I want you to realize is this, recognize that angry people often become lonely people. The truth is that most people really aren't stupid. They're only going to deal with you and your anger for so long. There's a reason your kids are always going to their room and don't want to be around you. There's a reason your spouse can't wait to find a place to go at night, a reason why they turn on the tv and try to escape. I love Proverbs 21:19, "Better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman". Another verse said, "Better to dwell on the rooftop than in a house with an angry woman". Most of you thought I was talking to men today but its not only men who deal with anger. Ladies, its amazing how quickly a family can scatter when you are dealing with anger in your own life.
I want to challenge you ladies. Do you realize you have the privilege of setting the emotional temperature in your house? Men, you can do it too. You can bring a dark cloud in there and turn everybody off. But ladies, the truth is, if you aren't happy, nobody's happy. Listen, men aren't stupid. If you're in a rage, they're out of the cage. God wants us to give it all to him. The Bible says that a soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. "A wrathful man stirs up strife but he who is slow to anger allays contention".
Anger has a great way of hardening the heart but there's something when you allow the Lord to do a work in your life that begins to soften you to those around you.
The reason I can laugh now when that guy drove passed me and told me I was number one is because God has set me free from that very thing. I actually felt bad for him, I prayed for him, "Jesus help him because there's something going on in his life right now. There's a reason he's so mad. Touch him". A soft answer will help you with your kids. Have you ever found that when you yell at your kids as hard as you can, they just seem to turn you off and get all freaked out and it just gets worse but a soft answer turns away wrath. You can shut it down. Instead of yelling at them, "I'm so tired of you, you're grounded". Tell them softly, "Go to your room, have a nice day". It's that simple. You are under control and they know it.
I want to end with this. If that has been an issue in your home or on your job or in your life I believe that God wants to set you free from that today. How many of you believe that?
