I want to speak a message entitled, "Green Eyed Monster". When God began to give me this message, I became very aware that God wanted to do something through it, and the expectation that I have for it to touch someone's life is big.
Proverbs 14:30 says, "A sound heart is life to the body but envy is rottenness to the bones". Spirit of God, this morning, I pray that you would come and give us an understanding of your word. Lord, may we decrease and may you increase in this place, amen.
The green eyed monster, or jealousy, really has a lot more to do than with someone being interested in someone else's love interest. It has a lot to do with areas of our life that begin to become intertwined with others, where we want what other people have. William Shakespeare once wrote, "Oh beware, my Lord, of jealousy; it is the green eyed monster". So that's where I get the title for this message today.
We have heard the saying, "To be green with envy", where you look at someone else's life and become very disappointed in your own. How many know that we are blessed today in Jesus name? God has given us good things in our lives. But it's amazing that the more we have, sometimes we begin to look at others and think about what we don't have. Envy and jealousy are powerful emotions that have not been discussed a lot in our society but it's prevalent. It's everywhere that you look and it's addressed throughout the Word of God.
Jealousy comes in all shapes, sizes and forms and when it is indulged in, it can corrupt the inner man. It can affect not only our attitude but jealousy begins to affect our very self; how we see ourself and how we see others. It begins to shape the very way that we face our life and our day. The Bible uses three words to describe it, the first one is jealousy; the second one is envy and the third one is covetousness. It is such a prominent issue in life that it is part of the ten commandments. I never thought about jealousy this way, how God would make it a part of the very core of the way we are to conduct our life.
Exodus 20:17 says this, "You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's". Who is your neighbor? Anyone that is not you.
We find this issue throughout the Word of God. As I began to study this, I was amazed how this is a theme throughout the Bible from the Old Testament through the New Testament; jealousy is an issue. With Cain and Abel, Cain was jealous of Abel's good sacrifices, so he killed him. Rachel and Lea became wives of Jacob and were jealous of each other; one because of her looks and the other because she was loved more by her husband. Joseph's brother's were very jealous of him. The Pharisees were jealous of all the attention given to Jesus.
Of course we know King Saul who became very jealous of a little shepherd boy that God had every intention of promoting to King. 1st Samuel 18:6-9 it says, "Now it happened as they were coming home, when David was returning from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women had come out of all the cities of Israel singing and dancing to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy and with musical instruments. So the women sang as they danced, and said, "Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands". Then Saul was very angry, and the saying displeased him; and he said, "They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed only thousands. Now what more can he have but the Kingdom? So Saul eyed David from that day forward".
Something happened inside of Saul that day, and from that time on this great King's entire life and kingdom began to take a spiral downward. Saul's jealousy of David changed him forever. The Bible says that "jealousy and envy is like rottenness to the bones". In today's vernacular we would say "rotten to the core". When you get jealous it will eat you up inside and change you from the inside and out. Not just your attitude will become rotten but you will become suspicious, looking over your shoulder at everybody. You start to feel rotten about yourself and become not a very nice person. Jealousy is like a cancer. I coined a term for it "Envy rot". It begins to grow like a bad cell and begins to spread throughout every area of your life.
The origin of jealousy is found in our natural insecurity. Every one of us has certain insecurities. There's not one person who at some point in their life doesn't have something that they're insecure about. It's part of our fallen nature. It makes us sad when others do well and glad when they fail. It makes us happy when we're doing better than anyone else is. The Bible says that we are to be just the opposite of that. How many know that we're to be happy when people are doing well and sad when they're not doing so well. Romans says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep".
Don't get excited when other people are having a hard time and you're doing ok. The truth is everyone of us have had to look at ourselves in the mirror at some point and discover that we felt that way; whether it's an enemy, whom we're glad that they're getting theirs or someone who is doing real well and we look up to and made us feel bad about ourselves, and when they started to show their flaws it made us feel better. How many know that's a work of the flesh?
Roman 12:3 says, "For I say through the grace given to me to everyone who is among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith".
Jealousy is a form of pride and pride is actually being drunk on yourself; it's just being full of yourself. We live in a day where we exalt being full of yourself. People think they're all that and they don't realize how stupid they really look. It has been said that jealousy is a poison that I drink in the hope that the other person will die. How many know that when you drink the poison, you're the one who's going to get it? Websters defines jealousy as resentment or discontent against a rival or against seeing someone else's success or advantage. Jealousy is envy manifested. Envy is the thought, the feeling or the temptation; it's when it enters your mind. Jealousy is the expression in word or in deed of that feeling of envy.
Jealousy is when I want what you have or want to be what you are, or want to do what you do, and when I look at you I feel like I'm missing out. I like what someone said once, "Don't envy a man who has everything because he probably has an ulcer too'. How many have come to find out that is probably true? In our society where people are working so hard to get everything they can get their hands on and when someone else seems to have the newest or the best thing, you begin to find that the way that person has to work and live that they are actually pretty miserable.
There are so many different types of jealousy. A Kentucky preacher once said, "Some are jealous of your face, some are jealous of your place, some are jealous of your lace and some are jealous of your grace". Some people get jealous of other people's spirituality but if you get down on your face and pray you can have what they have. There is sibling rivalry, spiritual jealousy, romantic jealousy, and professional jealousy. Jealousy can be broken down into 3 categories: my jealousy of someone else, someone else's jealousy of me or our desire to make others envious of us.
It's interesting as I've gotten older, I've discovered this wonderful thing called facebook. I really don't like to get on it a whole lot but somehow I wound up on it so I put a picture up there and I've found it's a great way to spy on other people. A lot of the folks from High School had a reunion and got on to facebook. How many know time is the great equalizer? All these people that you thought would do the greatest with their life are really just struggling while some of the people that you thought were the geekiest people are the rich ones in this world. All those straight "A"people that you thought were weird in High School are ruling the world right now. It's been fun because a lot of the people who wouldn't even pay attention to me in High School, all of a sudden want to be my friend on facebook. That's ok with me. A lot of the people who didn't have friends I've found out are doing very well.
The more we are like Jesus, the less jealousy is an issue in our life. Jesus never wanted to make others jealous. The more we are like Jesus, the less we will be motivated by jealousy of others, and the less we are affected by others jealousy, and the more we will grieve if we make others feel jealous of our life. No matter how well you and I do, no matter how blessed we are in this life, we have nothing if it isn't for Jesus Christ. The only person that we need to please, the only one that ever needs to be impressed with any of us is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. As long as that is our goal then we are truly blessed.
John 5:44 says this, "How can you believe who receive honor from one another and do not seek the honor that comes from the only God". I don't need to make anyone jealous of my success or lack of it; they just need to know that I'm living for Jesus and I need to know He is pleased with me. The more we are like Jesus, the less the approval of man matters and we strive only to receive the approval of God. That's it.
Last night my wife and I had another Nemitz evening. Nemitz evenings are those times when we think we're finally in the clear and are going to have a good night and then something goes wrong. We arrived at the gas station, filled up the car, got back in the car and all of a sudden the car died. How many know when your car dies at the gas pump you feel very stupid? But as I'm sitting there waiting and as good friends came to help to rescue their preacher, I wasn't going to let the gas station attendant know what I was doing because I'm ok and who cares what he thinks. But God told me to let him know. He was surprised. I told him, "Listen, my car broke down and I'd love to push it out of the way but without any electricity I can't even put it into neutral. I'm ready to go buy a 1960 something that I can actually use". The guy was so nice and we had an opportunity to let him know what I do for a living because I didn't have any money and they needed to know that to have mercy on me. I don't even carry any cash anymore; thank you for helping me jump my car but I can't give you a dime for it. We don't have to please anyone but Jesus. Times that we could be so embarrassed about things in our life but when we're pleasing the Lord we stop sweating the small stuff.
Jealousy likes to hide. It makes itself look like something other than it is. No one likes to admit it when they're envious but like it or not every one of us envies something and sometimes we let it get out of control. I like to say this, "jealousy happens'. How many have ever been surprised when jealousy rises up inside of you? You're just going through your day and you feel pretty good about yourself then all of a sudden someone does something and you find yourself absolutely miserable because they're doing ok. "How come that person is making so much money? I don't understand why they're doing better than I am".
Jealousy rarely looks like itself on the surface. Judas criticized Mary for anointing Jesus with oil when she came and used that wonderful expensive oil and poured it over him to anoint him for his burial. Judas said she was spending too much money, acting all spiritual, and all the while he was stealing from the treasury and wanted it for himself. The Jewish leaders didn't like the attention they were showing Jesus and when he healed someone on the Sabbath Day, they decided that would be a good time to kill him and then they were jealous they couldn't do it.
Joseph's brothers were jealous because of the love their father showed him. When God began to give him a vision and a dream that God would have for his life, instead of being excited for their brother, they sold him into slavery. You didn't realize that jealousy was throughout the Bible. Who have you been jealous of or who are you jealous of right now? In your life, is there something just eating you up inside because there is someone who is being blessed and you're not? Or someone seems to be doing better and you're not? God came to deal with this and it is one of the ten commandments. It's one of those things that the Spirit of God laid out so instead of us being rotten to the core, God could come and heal us and make us more like Jesus, so we can be a blessing to others in our life and enjoy the life that we have. Jealousy is a work of the enemy and it comes to mess you up for no good reason.
We become jealous of those whom we consider to be our equals, not so much those who are ahead of us. There aren't too many people who are so mad at Donald Trump because he seems to be doing well. The truth is your hair looks a whole lot better than his does anyway. We usually wind up getting jealous of people just like us.
Sarah was jealous over her servant, Hagar. Jacob was jealous of his twin brother, Esau, and he stole his birthrite and his blessing. David's brothers were jealous because they were out fighting a battle and God anointed him to kill Goliath. Instead of celebrating that their brother came and killed Goliath, they were mad that he did better than they did. The true test of jealousy is to ask, can I truly be happy when someone close to me gets lifted up and is given the honor, prominence or the esteem that I would like? Or when they receive a greater reward for doing the very same thing that I have been doing for years? Do I rejoice with them or do I inwardly resent their blessing and wish it was me? I've met a lot of people who work with others who do the same thing they do and they get a promotion. They used to be friends and the other person gets a raise and all of a sudden they don't like them anymore. How many know that's just jealousy? The issue isn't the politics of your workplace, the issue is are we going to be like Jesus? I believe that this question will challenge every one of us.
Not all jealousy is bad or sinful. Ecclesiastes 4:4 says, "I saw that all labor and all achievements spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless and a chasing after the wind". One of the ironies regarding envy is that it can be a positive motivator to do something worthwhile with your life. How many in High School looked around and said, "I want to grow up to be a loser"? How many looked around at the people who were doing well in a certain area that interested you and said, "I want to do that well, I want to become good at what I do".
It's like an Olympic athlete; when those Olympians show up to compete, they're not trying to match the world record, they're trying to beat it. I loved watching Michael Phelps at the last Olympics, I was rooting for the guy to break every record that was ever set. Then next year Michael is going to be older and someone younger is going to come along and try to beat the record. Seeing someone else's success can help spur us to excellence. When we look at what others have or have done, it inspires us to do something with our life.
For me, when I look at the other men of God that have gone before me in ministry, when I look at the Mark Fontaines or the David Wilkerson's, the Tommy Barnett's or the Jack Hayford's, the Charles Stanley's, or the Chuck Swindoll's, I want to be like that and do as well as they're doing. Not so much in the size of the churches, I just want to do as well as their wisdom and insight, their impact and anointing; I want to be like that and do well because at some point they're going to pass away and I'll be them.
Dale Carnegie, a great american businessman and the author of "How to win friends and influence people" said, "The strongest urge in a human being is the desire to feel important or to be admired and to do something with their life".
Our watching others helps to accentuate our desire to achieve. Fathers, I want to encourage you to be the best dad that you can be so that your sons have something to shoot for. Moms, be the best mom you can be so that your daughters have an example to live in. Church people, let's be the best people like Jesus to these teenagers so those teenagers and those who are coming after us will be the best teenagers in all the world. I pray that we will be a radical, on fire church and that our children will be radical and on fire young people.
Jealousy is so strong, that if not resisted, will prevent us from sane,clear, reasonable thinking. When jealousy sets in, it can be difficult to overcome. Rather than admit that we're wrong and that someone else might be right, we stick to our story just to save face. Cain could not deal with the fact that he was wrong in the way he offered his sacrifice to God. He didn't give his best and Abel did and because he couldn't deal with it, he killed him. He lost all sense of himself and killed his own brother.
Saul was so jealous of a 17 year old boy that he tried to pin the kid to a wall with his spear while he was playing worship music. When you get jealous you're going to lose all sense of yourself. Saul began to spend all this time chasing him in the wilderness. Jealousy can lead to all kinds of crazy things.
There's several ways that I want us to look at to overcome jealousy. Number one is admit it to yourself when you're jealous; don't live in denial. This is one of the hardest things to do. As a pastor and as a person, I've had to deal with jealousy many times. There were times that I found myself absolutely a mess and I couldn't figure out why. I would ask God and God told me, "You're jealous of that person, you're having a problem and what I've given you doesn't seem to be enough for you at the moment and you're having an issue with it". Sometimes it's helpful to just look at yourself in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Allow yourself to acknowledge your insecurity. The truth is if you don't acknowledge your own insecurity, you'll never be healed from it.
Some of us in this room have struggled with certain insecurities that we've carried throughout our life and this area of jealousy will hit you at different times of your life. Some areas of jealousy I do not struggle with but there are other areas of my life, because of who I am, will be a constant struggle throughout my life. I've given it to Jesus and laid it on the altar but I've decided to be like the Lord. So when they come up, the greatest thing I can do is look myself in the mirror and say, "Oh, it's that again". How many know that will keep you humble?
The 2nd thing to do is confess it to God. Once you've admitted it to yourself, take it to God. The reason why we get so rotten to the core, getting so messed up and spend so much time getting all those ugly fruit spots going on in our life is because we never take it to Jesus. 1st John 1:9 says, "If we are faithful to confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". This act of going to God with the issue of jealousy is the first step to being cleansed. How many of you when you are jealous, just feel a mess? You feel dirty and all tore up. How many are thankful for His love? Sometimes in your insecurity, you need to confess it to the Lord, and He's not there with a bat telling you that you did it again. He says, "I love you and it doesn't matter, you're doing just fine". Some of you have a hard time receiving that and don't believe it but you are doing just fine. Jealousy can become sin; if you've got it in your life, take it to Jesus and confess it to Him. You don't need it anyway, it's just baggage, leave it at the altar; God put it there for you. We may not be able to control how we feel but we can control what we do with the feelings. When we take them to Jesus, marvelous things happen.
The next thing we can do is to move in the opposite spirit of jealousy: generosity and contentedness. Lord, thank you for what I have and for the blessing. Thank you for my family and for what you've given me. The truth is everyone in this room are blessed; God has blessed our socks off. You live in the United States of America. I want you to get a dose of reality, you live in Palm Beach County, Fl. You're attending a church in Jupiter, FL, you live by the beach in a nice house with a good job and if you don't you're still doing good. If you don't believe me we'll take a missions trip to Africa and leave you there for about a month; you will run back to Florida.
Romans 12:21 says, "Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good". When you become jealous of someone, instead of thinking negative things, go up and congratulate them. We teach our kids this, it's good sportsmanship. If they lose a football or a baseball game, what do we do after the game? We go up and shake their hand. Losing the game was pretty bad but it is just a game. Shake their hand and bless them. Luke 6:27-28 says, "But I say to you who hear, love your enemies and do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you and pray for those who despitefully use you". Begin to move in the opposite spirit of that jealousy and that instinct to think negative. Make an intentional effort to applaud someone's skills, their success or blessing that they have.
The next one is this, accept your calling. God made you, you and it's ok to be you. You don't need to be anyone else. Embrace what God has, rejoice and refuse to compare yourself with others. 1st Corinthians 4:7 says, "For who makes you differ from another and what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it". What God is saying is this, there's no such thing as a self made man. Whatever you've got has either been given to you by the Lord or people have helped other people get where they're going; they didn't do it all on their own. Accept your calling; we are who we are and we're all that God has made us to be.
The next thing to do is be thankful. I want to close with this, be thankful. You can't be jealous and thankful at the same time. You can't be grateful for what God has done and still be miserable inside. When you get your eyes off of what everyone else has and are thankful for the things God has given you, you're going to live right. 1st Thessalonians 5:18 says, "In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you".
Praise the Lord for who you are and what He has done, and live in the blessing that God has given your life. Let me ask you, do you struggle with jealousy? If you do, God wants to set you free today. I know that we live in a rough economy. You don't think that this is a plan of the enemy to rock the Christian world and the people of America? People in this kind of economy are going to be struggling with jealousy and envy all over the place. Some people are doing well and some aren't; some have a job and some don't; some homes are doing fine and others are going into foreclosure. How many know that God's grace is sufficient for you today?
One of the songs that won't leave my head this morning is how He loves us. He loves you with all that He is, for all that you are. He's the creator who made you and He loves you. Some of you may be struggling with jealousy bad and God wants to set you free. Some of you may be just realizing that God wants to heal that hurt or that struggle you have. Some of you are looking at yourself thinking you've become rotten to the core; you're miserable and cranky all the time wherever you go; when you're dealing with people they can see the change in you, and you're noticing the change in you. You're kind of snappy at the marketplace, losing patience with the kids, looking at other people and can't stand it, you're mad all the time. God wants to heal that today, He loves you and He's faithful. He didn't bring you here today to beat you up; He came to make you just like Him. If that's an issue with you today, let's take it to the cross. Let the Lord heal you. Some of you have been trying real hard but you don't have to do it in your own strength anymore. God will give you the strength to accomplish and to achieve.
Father, I thank you for your life and for your goodness. I thank you how your word helps us to take a good look at ourself so we can be just like you, and so you can come and heal the areas of our life that are out of balance or need a touch from you. I thank you, God, that you do love us. At the core of jealousy is that insecurity that we're not good enough, that you don't care enough or somehow we haven't been faithful enough. I pray right now, Jesus, that your life would begin to sweep into the very inner man of people today. The word says that envy is like rottenness to the bones or rotten to the core, but you are the only one Lord who can get to the very core of our life and heal it. You can restore what the enemy has tried to hurt. There are some this morning, Lord, who just feel ripped off because of the way their life was as a kid but I thank you, Jesus, that you love them and you're here to make things better. I thank you Lord that no weapon the enemy ever formed against us will prosper. I thank you Father that you've come to heal and I pray that healing would enter each life right now.
Jesus, we confess to you our insecurities. We ask you Lord to forgive us of our rotten attitude at times. Come Lord God and cleanse us of our improper thoughts toward others that have torn us up inside like a poison. I thank you Lord that just as you reverse the physical effects of a sickness like cancer, you come and heal the spiritual effects of a jealousy like cancer. I pray that you would heal that now. Turn that into healing, life and wholeness in each heart today. Forgive us for the attitudes, Lord, and set us free now by the power of your Holy Spirit. We pray blessings on those right now who are achieving better than us. You may have a picture in your mind of someone who you're dealing with. Some may not deserve your blessing but neither did we and you gave it to us anyway. I pray your blessing on those lives now. God, may they know the blessing of your love for them; may they know your hand and your help and may they know your goodness and your mercy. I thank you Lord for some of those guys back in High School that we didn't get along with and you've restored relationship with us now. I thank you that we're not in Junior High anymore, we're adults; break us out of those petty, childish feelings and bring us into the life of Jesus Christ.
Father, there's a hurricane stirring out there right now in the ocean and they're saying it's too soon to say where it's going to go. Some say it's coming straight to Florida and others say it's going to turn north. God, we pray for a covering over our state over the next week. Father, we have watched time and again as your people have prayed and you've turned big storms out to sea. Lord, I pray your blessing on each one as they go through their week. Thank you for what you're doing in this church and help us to bring people to you and to be an example of your life, in Jesus name, amen.
