I want to preach to you a message this morning entitled "Multi Faceted Love". How many of you are thankful for the love of God in your life today? The many ways that he touches and communicates with us and the many ways that we can express that love to others. This month of February I want us to begin to really look at ways that God would like to touch our families and our church and our individual homes. How many believe that the church is family? I want to encourage you through the month to invite some friends that would like to hear some good messages. This week we're looking at "Multi faceted Love". Next week we'll be looking at "The Home behind the House", and the week after that, "Marriage builders". How many believe God is going to do some miracles this month?
What I want us to look at this morning is what that love is and how God expresses it. We'll start with the verse that tells us what love actually is. We read this portion of scripture at weddings but we neglect to read it in our daily walk and I think it's important that we understand it in all its fullness.
1st Corinthians 13:4-8 says, "Love suffers long and is kind, love does not envy, love does not parade itself, it is not puffed up. It does not behave rudely, it does not seek it's own. It is not provoked, it thinks no evil. It does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails".
Father, we thank you for the love that you have given us, for this desire that you have given us for you and for your presence in this place this morning. Lord, as we dive into your word I pray that we would decrease and that you would increase. Father, what you would begin to do this month in our families and in our own lives that your love would flow through us in its entirety. In Jesus name, amen.
I love that last portion of that verse that says "Love never fails". It never has and it never will. As believers we know this is true and I believe we need to live like this. Listen to me, "Love never fails", it never does. Love is powerful, it is what God is. The Bible says that God is love. As we're dealing with relationships with others we need to understand that because God is love he has never failed us and love will never fail. If we begin to live like that, if we will begin to live in love, not just in God because God is love, the action of love will be living through us everyday. It will never fail and we will never fail.
The quickest way to never be a failure in life is to be filled with the love of God and to live the love of God everyday. A lot of people think they're failures but God has come to give us such success in every area, especially in relationships. When God begins to talk about love in his word, Agape love, it talks about the pure, untainted, clean love of God. As you go through the word of God you begin to find out that love has many aspects to it. When God says, "Love one another", he is not asking us to simply have a feeling for people. He is asking us to make a choice. God says to love one another. How many know that sometimes you've got to do before you feel? In your marriages and with our families we've got to do sometimes before we feel.
God loves us. Love is something that you choose. I have dealt with so many people for years in ministry and counseling and one of the first things I'll tell husbands and wives and families is this, "If you will love each other you will have success. It will never fail you." I want to say this again, "Love is not something you feel, love is something you do". Our culture is so based on feeling. "I don't feel like I love my neighbor, I don't even like him. I don't feel like I love my kids". Listen, it's a choice.
Situations rise up and love will work because as Christians, it's the basis of how we operate. God tells us how to love but what I love about God is when he tells us to do something, he shows us what it is. How many of you are tired of people telling you, "You should do this" and then they just walk away. You should be nice but please show me what that means. As Christians we need to understand, we think that because we come from a church background, that our nation really has a deep down, in grained understanding of what it means to live decently, nicely and kindly but people really don't even know anymore. It's up to us to do it, God doesn't just tell us what to do, he shows us what it is so that we're able to accomplish it.
Love has poured out all the attributes that we just read. It's patient, not jealous, it's not proud, doesn't think evil of people. One of my neighbors was talking to me yesterday and through most of his colorful speech he just looked at me and said, "You're always looking at the positive side of things". I never really thought about that but I do, because love doesn't look for what's wrong, it's looking for what is good. Love isn't seeking its own, it doesn't behave rudely, it doesn't rejoice in sin but it rejoices in the truth. Love is able to go through so much because it's able to lay down its life. Love is always tender, compassionate and kind. Love is meant to be tender. There are many people that love in the sense that they believe they have this feeling or concept of what it means to care but their words and their demonstration lacks the tenderness that is caring.
I want us to talk about the several ways that the Bible talks about that love and how that compassion, tenderness and kindness begins to show itself. Grasping this and how to live it will change the way we are not only in our marriage but the way we are in our friendships and with our familes and with those whom we just come in contact with on a daily basis. If we will live in love we will never fail. Love is not always mushy.
First of all the Bible speaks of perfect love and a lot of people think that perfect love is unattainable but it isn't. The Bible tells us what perfect love really is. 1st John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love but perfect love casts out all fear because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love". How many know your God today? How many of you have learned to know Him and trust Him on a daily basis? The truth is this, when I get up in the morning, even when I blow it I don't fear that God is going to strike me with a lightning bolt. I don't fear that because I know he loves me.
Perfect love is a matter of trust. As Christians we're not afraid of God because we believe his promises. When I am perfectly loved and when I perfectly love, those who are involved in that relationship realize that they have no reason to fear anything: Fear of being hurt, fear of being abandoned, fear of being judged, fear of being abused, fear of being unappreciated, fear of being taken advantage of. There is this certainty that God gives us that there will never be a fear of unkindness or even a lack of patience, selfishness or unforgiveness. The truth is as believers, as we give that love to our spouses, to our children and in our families, that perfect love keeps the security around us so that we know there is a certainty. When my kids go to school, they go out into the world and they come home, at least they know when they walk through the doors that there is no reason to be afraid. If you do daddy wrong he might spank you but he's still going to love you.
Perfect love doesn't have fear or torment. It is the assurance that someone is fully loved, not just a part of what we read in 1st Corinthians 13 but everyone of these things. We're not going to be prideful over them, we're not going to take advantage of them. We're not going to rejoice when the other one fails but we're going to be that security and that covering for them. Perfect love is nothing to be afraid of because I'm not going to treat you rudely or embarrass you. I have an acquaintance that whenever he would go somewhere with his wife she would be absolutely mortified because somehow he would make her look bad and that made him feel good. Then he couldn't understand why she had problems with him. How many know there was a reason? There was fear.
The next thing that God talks about is sacrificial love. It is when we give up so that others can go up. It's a love that costs us something. Sacrificial love really is a part of any relationship because there is not one relationship that has ever been fair. It's never going to be fair. The truth is, love that costs is the essence of family. Husbands who sacrifice for their wives but our wives sacrifice for us men more than we will ever know and more than we'll ever admit. Parents are supposed to sacrifice for their children, like giving up a little something so that their kids can have that little extra. I remember my mom growing up raising 5 of us. After my father passed away I remember my mom working hard to make sure that our Christmas would be good. I remember her at times not buying clothes because we needed a pair of sneakers. That was sacrificial love.
Ephesians 5: 22,25 says, " Wives, submit unto your own husbands as to the Lord. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Both of those talk about sacrifice, giving up so that the other can go up. As in unconditional love, sacrificial love is always giving, it never settles to always be the taker. Sacrificial love understands that true love must give out and not always be a recipient. Jesus gave his all for us but he does expect a relationship with those that he died for. It's what he longs for, it's what he desires. Sacrificial love devotes total commitment to seek the highest best, no matter how the other one responds. There are things I do for my kids that I think that they'll appreciate but sometimes kids just don't ever get it but sometimes they do.
Love is selfless and it doesn't change whether the love is returned or not. If we will love each other like that, if we will give that love to others whether they give it back to us or not, the love will never fail. The truth is that sometimes we give up too soon. We sacrifice, we give and we expect an immediate return hoping that the other will notice. Real love says, "I will give to you whether you notice or not". How many know that Jesus died for every one of us and not every one is going to give their life to Him but he still died for them.
Sacrificial love doesn't keep score. The Bible says that love keeps no record of wrongs and love also doesn't keep records of everything you've done. It's funny because we do this all the time. What is real love? Sacrificial love doesn't keep score when helping others, when befriending others, when ministering to others. Sacrificial love just says this, "I'm going to lay down my life so that you can do better". America has become a very selfish place. I understand that in a marriage there always needs to be that reciprocal love giving back but if you will have that love it will never fail. The question is, "Do you believe that, do you believe God's word or not?" Sometimes living in love is just as much an act of faith as it is trusting God to provide for your mortgage.
The next type of love that God talks about is tough love. Ephesians 4:15 says, "But speaking the truth in love". It is one thing to tell somebody the truth, it is another thing to tell somebody the truth with a loving attitude. It's all about the attitude. Love is an attitude. So when you need to deal with people, remember that love is tender and compassionate. Paul says in 1st Corinthians 4:21, "Shall I come to you with a rod or in love and in the spirit of gentleness?" Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. So many times we think that tough love means that we're ready for combat. Tough love means that you are willing to confront but that you will do it in such a way that people will know that you care and know that you'll understand.
James Dobson wrote a great book called, "Love must be tough". Sometimes people don't respond to soft reason. Some kids need discipline. Some spouses and friends and family need boundaries. There must be times when we draw a line and we say enough is enough but I still love you. You're doing this to me, you're needing correction in this area, this is what's going on, but the way you speak it can still be tender. There are times when intervention is needed. Love can still be kind and not judgmental but it's insistent when we need to confront. I want you to hear me, God calls his children to love, not to be pansies. True love must confront. If someone is on drugs they need your love but the love must be tough. If you've got a child that's in rebellion you need to be tough with them. You can be tender even when applying correction to tender areas. Proverbs 21:6 says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend". Tough love means that love is strong. Husband or wife, when you see the other one struggling spiritually, you can speak into their life but you need to do it without judging them or condemning them and in a way that helps them. Love has heart, it doesn't shrink back in times of challenge.
I want to say this again, I think there are too many spiritual love children.
We're trying to love the world to Jesus but we feel we have to compromise the standards of God. You love them but don't speak the truth into their life and love without truth is absolutely useless. True love sometimes is blood, sweat and tears. It says we're going to hang in there together. True love is not a doormat. It will turn the other cheek and it will forgive but it will also insist on change. When Jesus went to the cross that was tough love. Tough love is tough because forgiveness can be hard. Tough love is knowing a problem and working at it, working with a child through addiction or a spouse with their health. It's one of those things where love is tough because you can do it, "I'm going to see you through this and we're going to do it together".
We're asking God to grow this church and help us reach this community and there are times love is going to have to be tough because there's going to be some people we're going to have to hang in there with. Some people God is going to call you to love on and you're not going to have that loving feeling but God still wants you to hang in there and love them. That's a powerful thing.
The Bible talks about having a greater love. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one's life for his friends". How many are thankful that Jesus went to the cross for you? I think sometimes when we hear about a greater love we think we have to take a bullet for somebody. I never got to meet my father in-law. At one point during his life he was a steel worker working in the steel mill and a load of steel fell on his head. Years later after he had healed and gone back to work it still had done something to him and he had a stroke. I've got the coolest mother in-law in the whole world. I never got to meet my father in-law, I just know the stories.
After that stroke, it paralyzed him, and he was bedridden, a strong, hard working man who had fathered 8 children. Every day my mother in-law laid down her life for that man. She would make sure he was dressed and clean. Everyday for years my mother in-law took care of him and she still had 8 kids to take care of as well. She could have put him somewhere because she couldn't take care of him but she wouldn't hear of it. She and some of the older kids would take care of him everyday. This love is greater than sacrificial love and its inconveniences. It says, "I'm going to lay down my life so that your life would be better". Greater love truly not only gives up their life but puts aside their life to benefit the other.
Jesus said, "I love my people so much that I will give my life for them". God calls us to live in that greater love. Listen, if you would care for your spouse that much, if you would care for your family that much, then even as we begin to reach out to others we would have that greater love and put our needs and desires aside. America has become such a selfish place, such a me-centered society. The church, all over the world, the reason why there have been in roads into many countries is because many people have given their life and put their stuff aside for others. Remember those missionaries among the Indians in South America? The plane landed and the cannibals ate the husband. Years later, the wives went to that same tribe and began to serve them and that tribe today has so many people saved because those ladies said, "I will give my life so that they can know Jesus".
Romans 5:8 says, "God demonstrates his own love towards us that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us". Philippians 2:3 says, "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition and vain conceit but in lowliness of mind let each other esteem others better than himself." This greater love is not insecure. Greater love lives for others. The ministry that God has called us to as Christians is to live in that greater love. It means sometimes you'll lose sleep. It means sometimes you won't get the day off you thought you were going to get. It means sometimes you're going to be called out to love on people and to minister in some situations that you don't feel equipped for but you'll put your life aside to care for others.
The next facet of love that God talks about is brotherly love. Hebrews 13:1 says, "Let brotherly love continue". This brotherly love is when we love those who aren't family, like family. One of the things I love about this church is that this is a place where love abounds and I believe that this is going to keep increasing and increasing.
David and Jonathan had that kind of love for each other, two men that began to share their lives and their heart and became like brothers. That word in the Greek isn't the word ?Agape', it's the word,'Philadelphian'. Brotherly love is expressed through commitment, dedication and loyalty. It's the kind of love you find in a church because believers realize we're family through the blood of Jesus. You may not be my immediate family but I love you like family and I'm going to care for you like family whether we have the same blood or not. If we're believers we do have the blood of Jesus running through our veins. You'll do things for family that you would never do for anyone else.
This brotherly love is an intentional bond that we develop. It's something that you make sure that you keep. My immediate family lives 1100 miles away but we make sure that those bonds are connected. We talk on the phone all the time and it's intentional because although we lives miles apart and we may not see each other, if we didn't talk we could get together and pick up where we left off but that's not the kind of love we're trying to develop. Philadelphian is an intentional bond where we reach out and make sure people know that they're loved and cared for. It's not an option, this type of love really is an obligation. When you are part of a family there is an obligatory love. There is that obligation to make sure that the bonds are there.
This love that we have for the family of God is not self centered but it's Christ centered. I recognize as the father of my house that I must make sure that our family is connected and that the bond is intentional. The bond that we have with Jesus is an intentional love. When you come to church it's important that you let other people know that you love them. If you're at Wal-Mart or Publix and you see someone, don't hide down aisle 4 because you see them on aisle 3. Intentionally go and say hello. When I see that happen, I forget what I'm shopping for and I walk down the aisles and find them and say, "How are you doing?" It's awesome, you ought to try it sometime. Sometimes I notice when people are avoiding it's not because they don't like you but it's because they're in a bad mood and in an un-Christian place and they want to stay there, and they know that if they meet with you, that love is going to change them. If you see me hiding from you, do the same thing, it's alright.
This facet of love ensures that a coldness never enters the church. It ensures that that passion and care for each other is always known. With Philadelphia love class distinctions disappear whether you're young, old, rich or poor, it doesn't matter, we're family. I love that and that's what God has called us to.
The last facet of love that God talks about which I think is so important is that first love. We read about that in Revelations 2:4 when God speaks to the church, "Nevertheless, I have this against you, that you have left your first love". This verse talks about foremost love and is the facet of love that keeps God at the forefront, giving him our best. This isn't young love or infatuation. First love is priority love. This verse talks of believers who allowed their love for God to generate to a simple form of ritual. How many times do we not give our God and our families first love? First love is priority love. Sometimes we lose the tenderness that we have for our family, for a husband or a wife. The passion begins to leave us and we take them for granted. Our affection is just expected to be known and we cease to express it, to say the words, "I love you and I care about you". Even when we drop our boys off for school I let them know I love them. Even though they're 14 and 15 years old they look and say, "I love you too, Dad". The truth is they know it and if they don't say it back to me I'm going to yell it as I'm driving by. It's a beautiful thing. Priority love, they're going to know one way or the other. Stop taking your spouse for granted, let them know that you love them. Put down the paper, brush your teeth every once in awhile.
How do you regain it? The Bible says you can repent and do what you did at the beginning. Make it a priority. If you've lost your first love for God, repent and make him your priority again. If you've begun to take your spouse for granted, repent, go to them and say, "I'm sorry, I haven't given you my attention. I love you, I really do", and then begin to show them. The truth is when you first got married and when you dated, they were your whole world and your everything. Then you got married, why does that change?
Love has many ways and many aspects to it but if we will truly love we will never fail. I want to encourage you, your family will succeed if you will love. Your kids will never fail if you will love. This church will never fail if we will love. If you want this church to be successful, put God first, and begin to love other people unconditionally the way that God tells us to. If we will do it, we will never fail.
