Joshua 24:15. I want to begin the 2nd part of this series this week dealing with families. The title of this message is called "The home behind the house". I believe that it's so important that our homes are whole. It's so important what God has been doing in our families and the wonderful work that God has been doing among us. I have been watching over the last couple years as God has been touching many couples, couples that you would think would be breaking up or not be able to make it but I've been seeing God do miracles. At one point I thought it would be absolutely impossible because people just wouldn't cooperate with God but how many know that anything is possible when you cooperate with God?
Joshua 24:15 says, "If it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the Gods which your fathers served on the other side of the rivers or the God's of the Amorites in whose land you dwell, but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord".
Father, this morning we thank you. We make that choice and that determination today to live for you, to serve you and to honor you with everything that's in us. Spirit of the living God, we ask that you would come into this room and may this word not fall on deaf ears but on ears that would be receptive to receive. God, may it challenge us and impart your goodness into us. May we decrease and may you increase. Amen.
I think we all know the saying that it takes a family to make a house a home and it really does, but the truth we need to know is that there's no such thing as a perfect family. Every family is unique and different. I have found that even within the same kinfolk, each home has its own flavor and its own rhythm in the way that they do things. All of us, all of our families could be labeled dysfunctional in some form or fashion. I don't know if there really is such a thing as a functional family. Last year someone told me one of the funniest things I ever heard. They said that their family put the fun in dysfunctional. So I said, "At least you're having fun with it".
Although there's no such thing as a perfect family, it is possible to be a godly family and we should be. Joshua said, "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord". I believe that in this statement is more than the decision to be a Christian, it is the determination to live our lives for the glory of God. Not just to say that we're saved and we're going to walk because we believe what the Bible says but that we are going to live in the fullness of His Spirit. I may not be able to control what happens in someone else's family, what my neighbor does or what my friends do but I can control what happens in my house. A home that has Godly standards, a home where love abounds and where understanding is given. Its' a home where God comes first, a home with a family that is tight. Putting God first means a home where attitudes are checked, where communication is valued and we will talk about not only our day but we talk about the Lord and what's going on. The attitude of our heart is like a thermostat, it determines the climate. One of the things we should gauge about our homes is, "Is this place warm or is this place cold?" How many know you can change the atmosphere of a home just by walking in sometimes? How many have found out when you came home in a bad mood and everybody in the house was in a good mood and all of a sudden you change the atmosphere of that home?
We need to make sure our homes are a place that is warm. A husband and a wife set the temperature. I was reading ways that you can set the temperature in your home. I like this, start each day with a kiss. Always wear your wedding ring. A wedding ring is better than a ring through the nose even when it cuts off the circulation. Go on dates with your spouse, accept your differences, be polite whether it's to each other or to the kids.
Smile often, talk about your dreams. Adopt a song as your song. Laugh together. Send a card for no reason. If you're not used to doing that it will make your spouse think that there's something wrong but that's ok, send it anyway. Encourage one another. Every once in awhile do it the other person's way, you can't always have it your way. Make sure that you complement each other at least once a day. Take time out to call during the day. Hold hands every once in awhile, be respectful and make every effort to look your best. How many know after years of marriage it's real easy to start looking like someone other than the one that they married? Be vulnerable, be kind. Respond quickly to your spouse's needs. Take time to say "I love you" as often as you can. The truth is that if you will take the time to do those things then you will change the thermostat in your home and it will make it a warm place.
Just as a house is a shelter, so is the family. We need the family to be a shelter for us, to be a safe place to live in. A home is not meant to be a museum. My wife has to remind me of that all the time. Someday the kids will grow up and everything can be in it's place, until then it's ok that its out of place.
Proverbs 14:26 says, "In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence and his children will have a place of refuge". The Living Bible says, "Reverence for God gives a man deep strength and his children have a place of refuge and security". The Bible tells us that God is our refuge and an ever present help in time of trouble. That is what the home is to be for our families. When husbands and wives come home, when our kids come home, when family comes to visit from out of town, that home is to be a shelter. It's a shelter from the storms of life and from the world that we live in. Sometimes people speak of sheltering the family as if that is a bad thing. There is no such thing as being too sheltered. The truth is that the world really is such an awful place anyway although there is much beauty in it. We should be able to come home to a place that is safe and secure. It's a place to be loved and to be understood. It's where family comes together and where they know they can be safe from hurt and where they can rest after a long day.
Some houses on the outside look perfect but on the inside they are filled with yelling and tension. I've been in some of the nicest homes I've ever seen but it's missing the one thing that makes it a home. I have been inside some homes that are shacks where people have worked all their life for very little and have done the best that they could but it is the most joyful place you could ever be in. I would trade a mansion for that shack in a minute. Safety is where we're affirmed for what we do well and where we're held accountable for what we don't, where we are praised for what we do best and encouraged for where we come up short. There are some days where there's nothing like coming home when you feel like everything else has gone wrong but you can still come home to someone that loves you and kids who care about you. It's a beautiful thing.
The truth is that not all of us are winners in all that we do. Our children are not always the greatest at scholastics or even the best at sports. Some of us aren't the best on the job and some have been betrayed or have lost a promotion or have watched a dream that has been dashed. We can handle so much when we come from those hard places, when the life that we live is filled with hugs and affirmation and prayer especially when the things that are going on around you are your fault. I told my kids I don't care what you do, I don't care who has done what to you, when you come home you're still my kids, even if it's your fault, I'm still going to love you afterwards.
Security and confidence in the home truly comes from a deep reverence for God. People who respect and honor God are people that you can trust. People will come back to that every time and know that they can depend on it. People will thrive in relationships where they are secure. Security is there for the husband and for the wife and children where we can listen and talk and where we can even learn to fight nice. If you live in a family, you're going to fight but we ought to fight well and fight fair. Always remember that family is a gift from God.
Psalms 127:3 says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward". That word heritage means that it's an heirloom and those are our greatest treasure. Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and finds favor from the Lord". I've searched the scripture and had a talk with God a little bit this week because I see that it mentions children and it mentions wives but it doesn't say that finding a husband is a good thing. I think that it's just a given.
I want you to hear this, every gift from God will be contested by Satan. Every gift that God ever gives you, the enemy is not going to want you to have. God's blessing on our homes invite Satan's attack. He will try to place thorns in your nest, to try to disrupt it and make it uncomfortable. Every gift is something that the enemy wants.
2nd Corinthians 2:11 says, "Lest Satan take advantage of us for we are not ignorant of his devices". I have watched as Satan has come against the family more than any other time in history. You can watch it in your marriage, you can watch it with kids and I've watched it as a Pastor in the life of the churches. They say that the divorce rate among Christians is just as high or even higher than outside in the world. If God is glorified in the home and people are safe and secure then people always know that there's some place to go but if even the most secure marriages can fall apart the enemy can grab a foothold in society and leave children flailing and leave husbands and wives empty and powerless. We know that Satan will come against the gifts of God so we are to protect those gifts like the treasure that they are and not be unaware that the enemy will come in. There are times you can see it, there are times you can feel it in our attitudes, there's times you can just sense it with the things we begin to see attracting us that the enemy is trying to get in. The Bible says not to be ignorant of his devices.
Satan wants us to agitate one another and to be disappointed with each other. He even encourages us to have unrealistic expectations and all of a sudden our attention is diverted from being a servant to being self absorbed. The greatest way to treasure your family is to serve them. Husband, you are to be the servant of the wife. Wife, you are to be the servant of the husband. Parents, we're there to serve the kids but not spoil the kids. The enemy looks for inroads through television and negative relationships until God's presence stops being the atmosphere of the home and the goal of our relationship. We must be watchmen over our families and cherish them as the gift that they are and if we will then the blessing will continue. A house can sit empty but a home is where people listen and where love never leaves a relationship. The truth is that love will always fill a relationship and never leave it empty. If you ever feel like your home is an empty place just make the choice and love a little more then pretty soon your house will be filled with joy. In the home if someone is listening and someone is talking, if both are happening then communication is taking place. I want you to hear me, love always communicates. Love never stops talking. Sometimes love wants you to be quiet but that's ok. Listen enough to gain understanding, listen close enough for hidden feelings to be expressed and listen carefully enough so that you can know the true needs of your spouse and children so you can meet the time of need when no one else in the world will ever understand what's going on. That place of safety means that those people in that home know you better than anyone else, they know your ups and downs, ins and outs, and know how to meet those needs so that we're always safe.
The home is a learning center for life. Our children may receive an academic education elsewhere but all children are to be home schooled. I don't believe that it takes a village to raise children, I believe that it takes a family. How many know the church is also the family? The truth is I don't want the village idiot telling my kids how to live and there's a lot of them. In the family we're to provide a quality education for life and the family is the soil from which we are to grow. Psalms 144:12 says, "that our sons may be plants grown up in their youth, that our daughters may be as pillars sculpted in palace style". How good it is to watch young men become men of God. It's fun to watch the young people in this church begin to have a fire for the Lord. Raise your kids for Jesus that your boys would become men that are planted and are never shaken and never uprooted, that our daughters would be beautiful not just on the outside but on the inside. That's the job of both the Mom and Dad. When you find a beautiful woman who is beautiful both inside and out you are going to find parents right behind her who helped shape her life. When you find boys that aren't growing wild fruit from their branches and sowing seeds that are just all over the place but are putting down roots that grow, behind them you find a family that are making sure that they are nourished and making sure that they have something deeper than just doing well. Families that don't grow together will grow apart. Mom and Dad, you may be older now and have children that are grown up that have children of their own but they are still watching you do this now so they know how to do it then. How many know that you never stop being Mom and Dad?
Children learn to relate as they watch parents live for God. They learn how to change through the stages of life. They learn how to love and to give and how to have visions and goals. I was just reading a book about the Indians that were here in Tequesta and Jupiter and the history of the area. One thing I didn't realize is that in this area the elders weren't respected. Did you know that in most cultures where people grow old they are esteemed and cherished? But in this area the tribal Indians when they became elders were thought of as a burden and were treated like children and wouldn't take care of them. Pretty soon what they would do is leave those people off to the side and go on with their own thing. How many know that soon those people grew older as well and they found themselves in the same place. How important it is that in this day and age that same thing doesn't happen. I was wondering for a little while in our very wealthy culture around here that cherishes people that can earn money and work well, how we're doing esteeming those who have gone on before us. To teach those that are younger the value of what it is to gain wisdom and to continue to teach them. I want to challenge you to teach the young men, teach the young ladies that that age is a beautiful thing and that there is something to be offered. It will make a difference in this world.
Just as a house must be built, so must a home. As Christians I think about this a lot because we need to remember that we're of the house of Christ. When I think about a house in America all I think about is the building. Do you realize up until the last couple centuries a house really dealt with the name and the lineage of the people? I am Marvin, son of Marvin, from the house of Nemitz. The truth is that there is a legacy that is being passed on from generation to generation. What legacy are you leaving? I know as Americans we look over at England and think there are some things that are outdated. We look at some of the very few royal families now like the House of Windsor and we think of it as kind of odd but there's a legacy that is being passed on. There are churches over the next week that are getting together to debate about creation and evolution and how they coincide together. These are Bible believing fundamentalist Christians. How many know when we start to erode the foundation, everything else begins to fall apart. But when you build it solid and you keep building up, trials and temptations come but the house that is a home will always hold up instead of fold up because God is in it.
The Home behind the house, what goes on behind the closed doors? The legacy that is really being built, the determination that is more firm than ever. "As for me and my house we will serve the Lord". I have found that if I will serve Jesus as a husband then my wife will be blessed. If I serve the Lord as a parent then my children will be blessed. If I will serve the Lord no matter what anyone else does, in my business, in my dealings, then my life will be blessed and so will my children. "As for me I will serve the Lord". How about you this morning? Will you make Christ the center of the home? What is your home behind the house that you live in? What is the atmosphere? My prayer today is that you will make the most beautiful thing in the world, inviting Jesus in to fill you and strengthen you. How many know when we do it will always stand.
